An Open Letter to Scott Galloway

Dear Scott,

Is there a reason you’re avoiding the experts?

I see you speaking to folks with massive platforms but little to no expertise in gender studies, patriarchy, sociology, mental health, behavioral science, or anything adjacent. I’m aligned with your goal — I appreciate the premise of much of your work: boys and men do thrive when they are physically strong, tending to their health, able to earn a living, and connected to their families and communities.

I, too, want to support boys and men in moving through the world with confidence, love, and purpose. Your intentions come through loud and clear. I can see your heart.

But I’ve got to be honest: listening to you fills me with equal parts warmth and pure, incandescent rage.

One minute, I’m thinking, “Aw, he chokes up. He actually cares.” Or “Okay, that was a good point.” Two minutes later: “Are you fcking kidding me? Do you have any qualifications here? Have you ever sat with a therapist? Have you talked to women outside of your research on financial success? Have you studied the compounding impact of patriarchy, white supremacy, and capitalism on men, women, and families?”

No? Well, I have. And so have many others.

As a behavioral scientist, mother of a 15-year-old son, a daughter who just left for college, a wife, and a professional with 20+ years of experience coaching men in overwhelmingly male-dominant, white-dominant rooms — WOW. Your three Ps (Provide, Protect, Procreate) are dangerously narrow.

Before I get into what’s missing, let’s revisit the analogy you used at the end of your Katie Couric interview. It was…smooth. And an interesting choice.

You said progressives keep attacking one another over minor differences — “You’re holding the gun wrong!” — instead of aligning with imperfect allies.

In spirit, I agree.

But let me extend your analogy: If you hold a gun wrong, you can really hurt someone. That’s why people take firearm safety seriously.

And Scott…without formal training in gender studies or patriarchy, your qualification can start to look like: “I am a man, therefore I know.” Or perhaps more accurately: “What? I own a gun. How hard can it be to write a book about guns?”

This is exactly what so many women find maddening: Men confidently explaining things they have no expertise in.

And while I appreciate a simple mnemonic as much as the next person, your three Ps reduce masculinity to an outdated caricature.

So let’s expand the frame — still using P-words, since you like those.

The 7 Missing P’s

Perceptiveness — Read a room. Notice others’ needs. Understand the world doesn’t revolve around you.

Presence — Slow down. Listen. Hold space. Be connected, tender, curious. Seek to understand experiences outside your own — especially those of women and marginalized communities.

Patriarchy — As in: awareness of it. Recognize the systems that have historically centered men. Understand how this conditioning lives in you (your entire book is a case study).

Privilege — Acknowledge your relative advantages — not defensively — and use them for good. You own yours, but you wrongly convince young men it’s a thing of the past, feeding a victim narrative that is already way too loud.

Partnership — Earning money is table stakes. Women are exhausted from the second shift. Real partnership means emotional, domestic, logistical, and mental load sharing.

Purpose — Pursue meaning, joy, contribution, and personal growth. There are too many grumpy fcking men. Ask any woman. Men who metabolize their feelings, have friendships, and cultivate fulfillment are infinitely more attractive than men chasing status.

Perseverance — Resilience without the martyrdom. Adapt, feel the feels, get support, and move forward.

For generations, we’ve told women they can be everything — scientists, leaders, mothers, innovators. Society finally caught up. And yes, “women are killing it,” but Scott…are we? Anxiety is sky-high. Resentment is too. And women — especially Black women — are being laid off at disproportionate rates. Your metrics (degrees, friendships, salaries) don’t capture the whole story.

And what about men? Boys are still raised with a painfully narrow script: Be strong. Be dominant. Make money. Protect. Provide. Produce. And, oh — try not to be an a*shole.

Men deserve a richer blueprint. So do the women who partner with them.

Scott, I’m calling you out as lovingly and directly as possible: please broaden this conversation. Please invite experts into your orbit. Your platform has influence. How you hold that gun matters.

I’m glad you picked it up. Someone had to. But now…please learn how to handle it responsibly.

A few questions for you:

Have you explored the experiences of men who do not share your identity, class, status, or privilege?

Are you talking to young men about the privileges they still hold — because there is nothing sexier than a man who recognizes that people trust him faster, interrupt him less, and rarely question his credentials?

Have you dug into the surge in “gray divorce” and why so many men are being left behind in midlife? If not, you’re missing something crucial.

You’ve taught thousands, written bestselling books, and built businesses. You’re a bona fide expert in marketing, business, and finance. And yes, you’re a man — so you know what that experience is like (or at least what Scott Galloway’s experience is like).

Let me share this: I’ve learned the most about white women’s culture not from white women, but from Black women and other women of color. As a white woman, I can’t always see the conditioning in the air we breathe. But Black and Brown women often can — because they’ve had to navigate it to prosper and stay safe. So I try, every day, to be a better observer of culture and all its nuanced layers.

You have a lot to say, Scott. But how often do you listen?

How many books have you read by women with different identities? How closely have you tracked the seismic shifts in women’s lives, expectations, and needs?

Because if you’re attempting to guide men on how to be better men — or “win” in the dating pool — you’re missing massive pieces of the puzzle.

Which brings me to this invitation: Would you join the Zoom conversation I’m hosting next week — He Said, She Said — with my friend and fellow expert Joe Gerstandt? We’d love to have you. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll happily join you on your podcast.

Our goal is the same: boys and men who thrive, and women who are safe and able to prosper alongside them.

Please entertain the possibility that you may be wrong about a few more things than you think. Please be man enough to admit that. Please get curious about patriarchy and how it lives in all of us — yes, including you.

If you do, I can already see the title of your next book: If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now.

Because here’s the truth:

The men who are thriving today are striving to be ten-P men, not three-P men. They understand that modern masculinity requires growth, flexibility, emotional intelligence, and mutual respect.

If you want to truly leave a mark, Scott, your next conversation — and your next book — need to go deeper.

Much deeper.

I hope you receive this letter in the spirit it’s given. We are on the same team. We both want boys and men to thrive. And that’s why I feel responsible for correcting your form.

Before you hurt somebody.

Brad, Ben, niece Anna, Adi, Mitch

Mitch Shepard is Chief Truth-Teller (HUMiN), a trusted coach & adviser to some of the world’s top leaders, an applied behavioral scientist, an author, mama, wife, sought-after speaker, ass-kicker of cancer, DEI die hard, passionate world traveler, and a proud global citizen.

If you’d like to be part of these conversations, join my community at **www.mitchshepard.com/community**. I host ongoing discussion series on the cultural and gender issues shaping our time.