The Music, The Memories, The People The Fandom That Found Me

Everyone told me it was just a phase, and yet here I am, almost a decade later, still a devoted fan.

There was a time when I thought — or was made to feel — that I was “too old” for K-pop. People mocked me for it, and although those comments hurt, I mostly stayed silent about it. Instead, I would quietly go back to watching EXO Ladder or listening to Baby Don’t Cry, finding comfort in the one thing that never made me feel judged.

What’s interesting is how I became an EXO-L in the first place. I was a K-pop fan long before these boys debuted, but the funny part is that I only realised years later that I was an EXO-L when a friend pointed out that my entire playlist was filled with EXO songs — not even just the title tracks, but mostly the B-sides.

And honestly, I’m grateful for that.

These boys became a source of comfort during one of the hardest periods of my life. I was grieving the loss of my father, navigating motherhood after having a baby, and struggling with emotions that constantly felt overwhelming. Somewhere in the middle of all that, there was EXO — a small but steady light when everything else felt unbearably heavy.

It was never just their visuals that drew me in. It was their voices. Each member brings something so distinct vocally that choosing a bias almost feels impossible. Their discography alone deserves its own research paper because of how diverse and beautifully crafted it is.

But beyond the music, EXO also gave me something even more precious: people.

Through an app called Amino — which sadly no longer exists — I met some of the kindest, most genuine, and non-judgmental people in my life. Some of them are much younger than me, yet they never once made me feel out of place. Even though the app disappeared, our friendships didn’t. We still talk, share our lives, celebrate happy moments, and support each other through difficult ones.

All because we happened to love the same boy group.

It’s strange how music and fandoms can connect people across different ages, countries, and experiences, yet somehow make them feel understood in ways real life often doesn’t.

And after all these years, I can honestly say this journey has never just been about being a fan. It became a part of my healing, my friendships, and some of my most comforting memories.

I’m glad to be an EXO-L.