A Recipe Exchange Chain Email from Stephanie, Your Friendly Neighborhood She-Wolf

It’s not so much an exchange of “food” as an exchange of “goodwill” (and meat).

photo by Markus Spiske, Pexels

Dear FRIEND,

You may remember me from high school or from when I devoured your Chihuahua or maybe from when I shamed you on Nextdoor for allowing your pre-teen to walk through the Target parking lot without holding your hand. Believe me when I say it was for his benefit, as there is power in numbers.

Anywho, I’m reaching out with some neighborly fun!

Last night as I roamed the jogging trail, my stomach got to growling and my mind got to wandering. I said to myself:

“Stephanie, it feels like there’s a distance growing between the members of this community. What can YOU do to really bring this neighborhood together? What’s the ONE THING that everyone loves, which would provide comfort during these trying times?”

As I ate my midnight snack, the answer became plain as the hair on my face: Food.

And then real inspo hit: I should start a RECIPE EXCHANGE CHAIN EMAIL!

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Chain email?!? Aren’t they a scam? But wait. Maybe in the past, some of them were, but not this one. With this RECIPE EXCHANGE CHAIN EMAIL, you won’t get duped into thinking Elon Musk will give $139 to each person you forward the email to. A loved one won’t suddenly get scurvy if you don’t send this to at least 10 people. A series of three unlucky events won’t befall your household if you break the chain. Well, unless you happen to have three children. LOL

What WILL happen with this RECIPE EXCHANGE CHAIN EMAIL is that you’ll choose one of your treasured family recipes that you think any old she-wolf would love. Once you’ve landed on your recipe, email it to 20 people, including their addresses and specific instructions to email me with a time frame so I know when to come eat my portion and they know when to keep their pets inside. Then each of them does the same with 20 more people. Easy-peasy!

Then YOU can get busy making MY family recipe below and let me know when I should come get my share so I don’t eat your kids instead. Then we’ll all bask in the good feeling that comes from taking part in something bigger than ourselves.

It’s not so much an exchange of “food” as an exchange of “goodwill” between the community and your friendly neighborhood she-wolf.

Like someone once said, it takes a village!

Choose something super easy. Just pick a recipe that you can rattle off by memory, much like the list of the divorcees at school, or the names of all the missing kiddos in the hood, or the address of your childhood home.

This RECIPE EXCHANGE CHAIN EMAIL is NOT intended to add stress. It can be anything, really. DON’T AGONIZE OVER IT. How about the recipe you use the most often? Or the one you make after a visit to the butcher when you buy every bloody thing in sight? Or the one you go to when you are short on time?

There are just a few easy rules about the recipes:

• No peanuts.

• No tree nuts.

• No gluten.

• No red food dye.

• No dairy.

• No wolf meat.

• No eggs.

• No fish.

• No soy.

In fact, let’s keep this really simple and stick to CLEAN EATING. Even better, THE CAVEMAN DIET! Meat, meat and more meat. Just something yummy.

If you cannot do this by the full moon, please let me know so it will be fair to those participating, who obviously have the best interest of this community (and their family members) at heart. Let’s keep this neighborhood safe! Let’s do this thang, neighbor!

You can find my super easy She-Wolf Family Recipe below. It’s been handed down for generations, since we first landed in this neighborhood. Hope you enjoy it, and thanks for taking part in this RECIPE EXCHANGE CHAIN EMAIL!

Best,

Stephanie, Your Friendly Neighborhood She-Wolf

She-Wolf Family Recipe: NO-BAKE MEAT BIN

Find a garbage bin.

Fill it with meat.

Voila!

*Please be sure to put the garbage bin away as soon as the meal is over. Let’s not be part of the problem. Let’s be part of the solution. Hugs!

In the DBDB (Days Before Daily Briefings), Leigh Lewis was a children’s writer who often wrote things definitely not for children. These days, she can be found tending to her sourdough starter and trying to get into some Zoom meeting. Visit her at Twitter @leighwriting. (Please? PLEASE? Can someone come go visit her SOMEWHERE?)