Most People Don’t Sit Beyond The Chaos In Meditation. What Happens If They Do?

After 24 years of meditation, I promise the messy middle is worth it. And here is how to navigate it.

Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash

“I just can’t sit. Maybe I am not made for meditation.” Someone complained on the phone.

They had valid reasons to think like that.

Sitting idle with closed eyes is not productive at all when you have 100s of tasks on your to-do list.

When eyes close, the mind rushes like a hurricane. Throwing all unwanted things on the screen. Forcing yourself to watch how easily you snarled last time, or your last presentation that was not up to par. Your lack of preparation for the upcoming major event. Or simply the chaos of day-to-day life.

And when all this hits you within the first two minutes of meditation, you snap back. Your mind loops,

“This is not what meditation means. I must be doing something wrong. I am not built for this. I don't have time for this nonsense.”

Fair point.

But what if I, who have practiced meditation for over two decades, tell you this is exactly what it is supposed to feel like?

The dirty water in the glass

Do this experiment.

Pour unclean, dirty water into a glass tumbler. Shake it. And then put it on the table.

What do you see?

The particles float in the water for some time before they start to settle at the bottom. The denser particles settle before the lighter ones.

But the dirtier the water, the longer it takes for the dirt to settle.

Now shake it again.

What happens?

The settling residue mixes with water, contaminating it again.

Now replace dirt and particles with your thoughts, unsettled feelings, and all the activities that you have to do. Replace water with mind.

To get a clear mind, all the particles have to settle.

Right?

But before they get settled, before even denser particles settle, many people get up from meditation, feeling frustrated and asking,

“Why are my thoughts poking me? Why can’t I have even two minutes of peace?”

This happens because you don’t let the chaos settle before peace arrives.

How long?

Many people ask, “How long will it take me to experience peace?”

They compare their journey and question, “If I’m even doing it right?”

The question is like asking, “Why does river water get clean faster than fresh muddy water?”

When you cling tightly to things, worry, and overthink every nuance, letting go becomes tougher and takes longer. But consistently over time, the clinginess drops.

And when you are child-like, laugh more, worry less, it is like a water slide.

The duration depends on the mental state.

You may be worried one day and at ease the next. Clingier one day and detached the other. Frustrated on some days and smiling on others.

So, don’t compare those days.

Focus on consistency.

Focus on sitting beyond discomfort.

And when chaos erupts, let it.

Just watch it like a movie on your mental screen without attaching, judging, or interpreting anything.

Don’t become a screenwriter or director of your play when chaos erupts during meditation.

Just simply be an audience.

And watch the drama.

Let things settle down as you watch the tumbler, unattached.

Surely, you will feel a desperate need to do something, to find a solution. Because you have been trained to do so.

But the inner world behaves differently.

It’s your non-doing that slowly settles the chaos.

The best method for you?

I’ve said many times before that meditation techniques are not meditation.

Meditation happens after the technique ends.

You can be aware of the breath for a whole hour and still may not enter the state of nothingness for two minutes.

Meditation happens when you drop the method and yourself as well. It is like conscious sleep.

Nobody knows how they sleep. You may just lie down, scroll, and then drop off to sleep.

Do you put any effort into transitioning to natural sleep?

No.

But it can’t happen till you are doing something. If you think you want to sleep, sleep may never come. If you keep chanting sleep, sleep, sleep, it will never come.

But it comes effortlessly when you drop everything.

Similarly, meditation.

It comes when you let go of your techniques.

Techniques are initially extremely useful, especially when your mind is scattered in every direction.

These methods force you to concentrate on one point. Be it breath, the third eye (I personally don’t suggest third-eye focus), heart center, or active techniques like dancing or shaking.

And dropping from that one point is easier than cutting yourself off from multiple points.

And that best technique depends on what you enjoy. Yes, enjoy!

Because when you enjoy it, it doesn't become a time-dependent, forceful activity. It becomes like a play.

Then you don’t endure it, you look forward to it

And in play, your focus will become one point, and dropping from that one point becomes a play too. :)

Peace is not active play, but a passive background.

We think we have to pull peace from somewhere into our lives.

But the truth is, peace is already there.

It is like a screen that is always there. But the screen is never visible because something or other is always playing on it.

Sometimes we are fighting, sad, crying, screaming, or loving, caring, and doing activities.

But meditation is a pause button.

When the scenes stop, the screen appears.

And in deeper meditation, all the scenes evaporate along with the screen.

You just dip so deeply that you don't even remember where you are or what you have been doing.

That is peace turning into timeless bliss.

And it starts with that small pause button of meditation.

Daily pauses help us connect with that underlying peace that is always there within. The more you become patient with chaotic war when you sit and go beyond it, peace will always be there.

After all, it is your foundation that never leaves you. That is why sleep makes us so energetic when everything pauses.

And meditation is conscious non-doing of it.

A practice where you consciously navigate your chaos to reach your inner peaceful self.

*Wanna connect with me? Subscribe here and connect with me via email. You’ll also get a powerful audio meditation for free.*