Muscles, Motherhood, and the Myth of Fragility

Why the physical reality of women often scares our social expectations

Photo by Matthias Zomer on Pexels

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In our house there is a small routine that happens almost every night.

After dinner, my mother and my younger brother sit in front of the television and watch their favorite show. It is a quiet habit, the kind that slowly becomes part of the rhythm of a home. That evening was no different.

The TV was playing **Naked and Afraid.**

If you have seen the show, you probably know the format. If not, here is the short version. It is a survival reality show that first aired on the Discovery Channel.

Two strangers, usually a woman and a man, are dropped into a harsh natural environment. Sometimes it is a dense forest or a desert. Sometimes a remote island. Their task is simple in theory and difficult in practice: survive there for twenty-one days.

They have almost nothing with them.

They are allowed just one survival item. It might be a knife or a fire starter.

There is another detail that often surprises people when they first hear about the show. The participants begin the challenge without clothes. The idea is that they are facing nature in its most basic form, without comfort or protection.

My mother and brother enjoy this show quite a lot.

For them, the excitement comes from watching how people solve problems in difficult conditions. Finding water after hours of searching. Catching a fish after repeated failure. Building a shelter before the rain arrives.

Each episode introduces a new pair of participants, so the opening moment always carries a bit of curiosity. My brother especially likes that part.

That evening, he leaned forward slightly and said, “Let’s see who they are today.”

The episode began…. As usual, the two participants appeared on screen, walking toward each other. Their bodies were blurred for television.

And usually, there is a familiar pattern in scenes like this. The woman often looks the way society expects a woman to look. Slim. Gentle in her movements. The man often appears eager to prove his capability.

But the woman in this episode looked a little different.

Her build was strong. Her shoulders were broad. The muscles in her arms were clearly visible. There was firmness in the way she walked, and her voice carried a steady confidence.

Her physical presence suggested strength, something that society often associates with men.

While watching, my mother suddenly said,

“Wait… is that a woman?”

And that moment stayed with me. Because that question often appears in different forms.

“Is she really a woman?” Questions like that do not appear out of nowhere. They come from an assumption that already exists in our minds.

What exactly does a woman look like? Who decided that image?

Coincidentally, that same week was International Women’s Day. Social media was full of posts celebrating women’s strength, independence, and equality.

But small everyday moments often reveal the ideas we carry quietly inside us.

At that moment, I remembered a well-known line by the French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir, written in her book The Second Sex.

“One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.”

The sentence does not deny biological reality. It points to something else: the way society builds an idea of womanhood.

A small example of this appeared in an experiment that circulated online some years ago.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

Children were asked a simple question.

“Can you run like a girl?”

Many boys responded by acting it out in an exaggerated way. They waved their hands loosely, bent their bodies, and ran as if they were weak or fragile.

Then the same question was asked to girls.

“Run like a girl.”

The girls simply ran. Nothing dramatic. Just running.

The difference says something important. The boys were copying an image that already existed in their minds. It came from what they had seen around them.

The girls had not yet placed that image onto themselves.

A similar contrast appears in the way women are represented more broadly.

When a woman draws the image of a woman, that picture often includes effort, responsibility, work, and strength, along with tenderness. But the image shaped by society often looks different. In that version, a woman appears delicate, soft, and physically weak.

Because of this, women who are athletes or physically strong sometimes seem out of place within that narrow image.

Their bodies show muscle and strength. Because of that, people sometimes label them as “masculine.”

But those bodies are the result of their choices and their training. The issue is not the body itself. The issue is the expectation already placed on it.

The woman on television that evening did not fit the familiar mold. Yet there was no hesitation in her actions. She observed the environment carefully and began thinking about the next steps.

In that moment her identity became clear in a different way. She was simply a person trying to survive in a difficult situation.

Maybe that is where the important point lies.

Womanhood is not a single fixed image. It can appear in many forms shaped by experience, choices, and ways of living.

Some women feel comfortable with softness and calm expression. Some enjoy sports, adventure, or physical challenges. Many move between these spaces naturally.

Recognizing that range does not weaken the idea of womanhood. It makes it clearer.

Still, certain statements appear often in public conversations.

“Womanhood is under threat.”

“There are no real women left today.”

If being a woman were completely natural and self-explanatory, no one would feel the need to say “act like a woman” or “be a real woman.”

That leads to another question.

What exactly is womanhood?

If it came automatically from the body, there would be no need for so many social rules and expectations around it.

In reality, the idea of womanhood often grows from standards shaped by society.

How a woman should behave. How she should look. What should be considered proper?

All of this develops through the eyes of the culture around her. And this brings us to a more complicated question.

“We Are Just Human” — How True Is That Claim?

Some women say something like this.

“Do not see us as women. Just see us as human beings.”

At first glance, the statement sounds like a call for equality. It seems like an attempt to move beyond gender categories.

But according to Simone de Beauvoir, the idea is only partly complete.

In reality, the social experience of women and men is not identical. Expectations, opportunities, and the way people respond often shift depending on gender.

Because of this, a woman may wish to be seen simply as a person. Society may still respond to her as a woman.

How we see ourselves matters. How society sees us also matters.

So the claim “we are just human” is not entirely wrong. Yet it does not describe the whole situation.

The experience of living as a woman carries its own set of expectations, limits, and possibilities.

That is why the line from Simone de Beauvoir continues to provoke thought today. Womanhood is not only a biological identity. It is also shaped by society and continues to change over time.

Which leaves us with a final question.

When we look at a woman, can we move beyond the image already formed in our minds?

✨For those who want to wander a bit deeper into gender stereotypes, this piece offers a few more layers to consider when you have a moment:

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