Screening Potential Playmates with the CNM4US SwingRing Phone

Overcoming Fakes and Flakes in the Lifestyle with the Touch-base Phone Call

For newbies, figuring out swinging is a challenge. Experienced swinger couples tend to avoid you. That leaves you mostly with meeting other newbie swingers — the blind leading the blind.

Fakes and flakes are numerous within the lifestyle. Besides wasting your time, they contribute to cynicism and mistrust. Allow me to illustrate some of the pitfalls they present.

• Studies show that 30% or more of dating profiles are married. That’s on non-swinger websites.
• 20% of users say they’ve been catfished.
• Some people create profiles because they are photo collectors.
• Sometimes, one member of a couple sets up a profile before getting the partner’s sign-off.
• Some people post photos from 20 years ago. Since then, their gray hairs have multiplied, and their waste has expanded.
• That couple you’ve been talking to is, in reality, a single man. He’s hoping to confuse you with stories about his wife being unexpectedly detained at work, hoping he’ll get invited to a threesome.
• That couple you’ve been talking to is married, just not to each other. They are having a work affair — unbeknownst to their spouses (this happened to us).

Before I scare you off, there are many great people in the lifestyle. You will meet intelligent, kind, funny, sexy, playful, honest, and sincere people. Some of these people may become very close and dear friends. Often, these friendships transcend your sexual involvement.

To find these great people, you must learn to spot the fakes and the flakes in the lifestyle. And the Touch-base phone call is an easy tool to weed out a bunch of time wasters.

Messaging and Emailing

Many people find messaging apps’ short, responsive cycles highly rewarding, maybe even addictive. Others prefer to express themselves in a longer format in a series of email expositions about their erotic journey.

Do not rely too heavily on these methods for building relationships with people. Many people present very differently in writing than they do in person. Some people are fantastic writers but come across awkwardly in person. Others are terrible writers but charming and witty in person.

As we communicate with people in writing, we build an image of that person in our imaginations. The longer the writing goes on, the stronger that image becomes. While they may be charming and attractive in person, you may feel disappointed that they do not match the image you’ve built in your mind.

Unless you hope for a permanent pen-pal, please limit your written communication. I am not saying to avoid it entirely. You should use it to see if you have some common interests. Spend a little time building some rapport. And then ask for an in-person meeting.

The Touch-base Phone Call Before the Meeting

I recommend that newbies schedule initial meetings as social-only. This is a common practice even among experienced swingers. Some swingers label themselves as DTF (Down to Fuck). They subscribe to the Hit-it-and-Quit-It mentality. They don’t want to get to know you. You are just a momentary adventure. You will run into these folks. If that is not your scene, bypass them, and know that plenty of experienced swingers feel that the social-only first date is the way to go.

I’ll write more about the first date in another post.

Before you meet in person, let them know you’d like to schedule a brief phone call to touch base.

The phone call aims to ensure everyone is on the same page. The four of you will take 5–10 minutes to hop on a phone call. You will introduce everyone, restate that you met on a swinger’s site, and plan to meet somewhere to check out the chemistry you all have together.

That’s it. And half of the people you’ve been chatting with will either go away or find an endless series of reasons why they cannot meet up before they go away.

And that is why you should limit your chatting and emails. Half of those folks are never going to develop into anything.

SwingRing Phone

CNM4US offers the SwingRing Phone to all Verified Members at no additional expense. Yeah, we know, SwingRing is a corny name. But it’s memorable!

The SwingRing phone is part of CNM4US’ messaging app. When you are chatting with someone, click the phone icon. The other person will pick up, and you two can have an audio call on your mobile phone (it works on a desktop, too). You don’t have to give them your phone number or email address.

It makes it easy and safe to go from messaging right to phone calls. You can block them in the messaging app if you don’t want someone calling you anymore.

CNM4US is a sex-positive dating site for the consensually non-monogamous that also uses a social media format to help people create communities and share their knowledge and experiences with one another.

Join us at https://www.cnm4us.com