What Actually Nourishes Me

Truth, freedom, and saying no without guilt

Sunlight through the window is one of the few things I cans still count on without drama. It doesn’t ask me to perform, justify or shrink. It just shows up, warms the room and reminds me that some of the deepest nourishment comes in the simplest form. Image: AI-generate via FreeGen.

The prompt asked us to look honestly at our relationship with nourishment, not just food or rest, “but in the small, daily exchanges of energy, attention, and care that shape how we actually feel in our lives.”

When I first read the prompt, I immediately thought about how much I crave daylight. It nourishes my mental health, boosts my mood and feeds my soul. I have decorated my home, and even workplace, with hues of yellow and gold that emulate the sun and positioned furniture to maximize natural light because I know how much it helps me. But I think the prompt is asking me to go deeper than that.

So, I reflected on my writing over the last five months, when I began chronicling the impact of my husband’s affair on my mental health. I realized the same themes kept resurfacing: truth, freedom, and connection.

Truth, which I was deprived of in my marriage, nourishes my integrity. Freedom, which I am still seeking in this marital limbo, nourishes my nervous system. Connection, which is my desire to be understood and to find solidarity with women who have lived similar truths, nourishes my heart.

I also decided to explore where I am running on empty, even when everything looks fine from the outside. What I’m finding is that I run on empty when I keep saying yes out of obligation instead of choice, despite my limited bandwidth. What I find most nourishing, in contrast, is beginning to feel empowered to say no without fear or guilt. Protecting my energy doesn’t feel selfish anymore. It feels like a kind of hunger my body and mind have finally learned to ask for, listen to, and honor.

But I cannot discount sunlight through the window, as it is one of the few things I can still count on, most days, without drama. It doesn’t ask me to perform, justify, or shrink. It just shows up, warms the floor, and reminds me that some of the deepest nourishment comes in the quietest, simplest forms. Funny though, today was the first cloudy after a string of days of warmth and sunshine. I felt heavy and had short bursts of sadness and even tears. I then realized how much my mood is tied to light, and how quickly I can feel the shift when something I rely on is gone.

So, nourishment is not always tangible, nor only what I consume, it is what I crave and now demand — truth, freedom, connection, and sunlight ☀️.