The Fastest Way to Lose Someone’s Trust

Sometimes betrayal isn’t about what someone did. It’s about the promise you believed they made.

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What does betrayal look like? Better yet… what does it feel like?

There are few things more painful than betrayal. Whether it comes from a romantic relationship, a family member, a friend who never repays the money you loaned them, or even the workplace, the emotions are remarkably similar.

Frustration. Disappointment. Sadness. Confusion. Sometimes even self-doubt.

But I’ve realized something recently. Disappointment says, “Things didn’t work out.” Betrayal says, “I believed you.” There is an important difference.

Trust isn’t lost simply because people are disappointed. Trust is lost when expectations are raised, and reality doesn’t match the promise. Recently, many volunteer editors like me on Medium experienced exactly that.

When they announced they would begin paying editors, many of us were genuinely excited. After years of volunteering our time to help writers improve their work, it finally felt like our contributions were being recognized.

We celebrated. Writers congratulated us. Readers likely assumed editors were finally being compensated for the countless hours they invest in reviewing submissions, coaching writers, providing thoughtful feedback, and helping publications maintain quality.

Then many of us discovered the fine print.

The public announcement created one impression. The actual policy created another. For many publications, the eligibility requirements are so restrictive that numerous volunteer editors who continue doing the very work the announcement celebrated will receive no compensation.

That realization stung. Not simply because of the money but because of the expectation that had been created.

One thing has bothered me almost as much as the policy itself. Thousands of writers and readers likely saw Medium’s announcement and walked away believing editors are finally being paid.

That simply isn’t the reality many of us are experiencing. The headline tells one story. The fine print tells another.

For example, among several, one of the publications I edit for, Illumination, publishes more than 300 articles in a single day with the support of 30 of the most active and experienced editors in the last 7 years.

Behind every one of those stories are editors donating their time because they care about good writing. However, editors won’t be paid if more than 300 articles are published per month. So, we can punish writers, or we can continue to do what we have always done as volunteers and support them.

We don’t simply click “Approve.” We read carefully. We encourage new writers. We offer constructive feedback. Sometimes we decline an article with detailed guidance because we see potential and want to help the writer succeed. I genuinely love editing.

Some of my favorite writers are people I never would have discovered had I not spent hours working through the editorial queue. Helping someone polish an article until it shines is incredibly rewarding.

That’s why this isn’t really about money. It’s about trust.

As editors, we weren’t asking for applause. We weren’t demanding recognition. We simply believed the announcement meant what most reasonable people would assume it meant — that the people doing the editorial work would finally be compensated.

Many of us celebrated. Only later did we discover that the reality was far more limited than the announcement had led us to believe.

My Final Thoughts

Every relationship — personal or professional — is built on trust. Companies are no different.

When your public message creates one expectation while your policies create another, people notice. Writers notice. Editors notice. Trust is difficult to earn and surprisingly easy to lose.

Medium has built its reputation on the strength of its writers and the volunteer editors who quietly help maintain the quality of this platform every single day.

I sincerely hope the company listens to those voices. Trust can be rebuilt. But it begins with transparency, honest communication, and ensuring that the message people hear matches the reality they experience.

Because betrayal isn’t always about what someone did. Sometimes it’s about the promise we believed they made.

Here is a related story written by Dr Michael Broadly that I enjoyed very much, as it gave me valuable insights about one-sided partnerships.

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