A 5-Star Book Can Still Be the Wrong Book for You

I used to be skeptical about self-help books.

Not because I thought all of them were bad, but because a lot of them felt repetitive, overly simplified, or disconnected from real life. I’d hear people rave about certain books like they completely changed their mindset, then I’d read them and think: That’s it?

That changed when my best friend gave me a copy of The Making of a Manager by Julie Zhuo.

At the time, I was working at a startup and slowly taking on more responsibility. I had a lot of doubts about whether I was even capable of leading people properly. The book didn’t magically solve everything, but it felt incredibly relevant to what I was going through at that exact moment.

For the first time, a “self-help” or career development book actually clicked.

Oddly enough though, I still didn’t become a consistent reader right away.

It wasn’t until I joined a company that encouraged us to read at least one book per month that I started reading more regularly. Even then, if I’m being honest, I still wasn’t perfectly consistent.

Some books genuinely stayed with me. Others, despite being highly recommended and highly rated, just didn’t resonate with me at all.

And for a while, I thought maybe I was the problem.

How could thousands of readers love these books while I struggled to get through them?

Some of the books that didn’t click for me were founder-style books or psychology-heavy books that explored human behavior and decision-making in depth. Looking back, I think I simply wasn’t in a stage where those ideas felt immediately applicable to my life.

That realization changed how I approach reading.

I realized that mindlessly going through books recommended by other people is often a waste of time.

Not because the books are objectively bad, but because not every lesson is relevant to every person at every stage of life.

We all go through different phases in our careers, relationships, ambitions, and personal growth. Advice that deeply resonates with one person might completely miss another person simply because they are solving different problems.

A book can be excellent and still not be for you right now.

Now, before starting a book, I try to ask myself:

• What is this book actually trying to help solve?
• What is the author’s background?
• Why are people recommending it?
• More importantly: is this something I genuinely need right now?

The goal isn’t to perfectly predict whether a book will be life-changing.

It’s more about filtering the noise.

As we get better at identifying what’s relevant to our current stage in life, we spend less time consuming generic advice and more time learning things that actually move us forward.

Especially for slower readers like me, this matters a lot. I hate finishing a book and thinking: “I could’ve spent that time reading something more useful.”

And I’m not talking about spoiling books by over-researching them beforehand.

Sometimes people reduce books into one-line reviews online, especially on platforms like. Goodreads, calling them overrated or useless. But there’s also a huge chance the book simply wasn’t aligned with what they needed at that point in their life.

That doesn’t automatically make the book bad. To me, choosing books is similar to evaluating meetings at work.

A good meeting invite usually includes context, goals, and expectations. From there, you decide:

• Is this relevant to me?
• Is this worth my time?
• Or should I decline and focus on something more impactful?

Books should probably be approached the same way.

Not every highly recommended book deserves an automatic “yes.”

Sometimes the most important skill isn’t reading more books.

It’s learning which books deserve your attention right now.

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Books That Stayed With Me (and When I Think They’re Most Useful)

The Making of a Manager by Julie Zhuo

• One thing that resonated with me was realizing that good managers aren’t born knowing exactly what to do. A lot of leadership is learned through experience, mistakes, feedback, and figuring things out as you go. The book helped normalize the uncertainty and self-doubt that many first-tie managers quietly go through.
• Best read when: transitioning into leadership roles, startups, or periods where you’re suddenly expected to lead people instead of just focusing on your own work.

The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

• The core idea wasn’t really massive transformation overnight, but that small consistent actions – even the boring ones – compound over time. Tiny improvements may feel insignificant daily, but over months and years, they create huge differences in outcomes.
• Best read when: feeling stuck, overwhelmed by big goals, or trying to build consistency in habits, career growth, fitness, or finances.

Good to Great by Jim Collins

• The “right people on the bus” concept stayed with me the most, but I also realized it’s not just about having talented people – it’s about putting them in roles where they can actually thrive. You can’t expect great outcomes if people are sitting in the wrong seats.
• Best read when: scaling teams, hiring, restructuring responsibilities, or evaluating culture and organizational fit.

High Output Management by Andrew S. Grove

• One of the biggest mindset shifts for me was understanding that managers shouldn’t measure success purely by their own individual output. Their role is to multiply the effectiveness and output of the entire team instead of trying to do everything themselves.
• Best read when: managing teams, struggling with delegation, or moving from an individual contributor mindset into operational leadership.

Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury

• The idea of separating the people from the problem really stuck with me. Once negotiations become personal attacks or ego battles, everyone loses sight of the actual issue. Good negotiation is less about “winning” and more about finding solutions that genuinely address both sides’ interests.
• Best read when: handling workplace conflicts, stakeholder management, partnerships, salary discussions, or difficult personal conversations.