Shrinking self for the other? Are you?

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The immense internal discomfort of choosing between shrinking yourself just to make it “more convenient” for the other person and actually presenting your whole, unedited self.

I am sure at this juncture. Or had been there, but was realising it now.

Just by shrinking some of the aspects of self seems to have been forgotten. Better late than never, there is an opportunity to find some of them and revive.

Recently, I caught myself second-guessing, in a group interaction realised some of the inputs from me as a full authentic self were not acceptable or well understood. So either it is mostly talking to walls or sometimes feels like bragging about some aspects which others might not even relate to, so isn’t that bragging! authentically so OR othertimes you feel that you are misunderstood, mostly because of the incapability of the other to relate to this topic to the layer at which I relate to.

In all these, what have I resorted to till now?

Courtesy : Gemini

Feeling dejected, as you are not well understood. Feeling gloated, over a point well made, but somehow not well taken, or at least that is the aftertaste which is left with. Feeling not at home. Every juncture is a discussion crossroad, either to express fully, partially or not at all. When the chosen option is “not at all”, the undigested decision comes out as a burp suddenly, and that ends up as a spark of random outburst. Or it comes out as an ingested and well thought out response, which the other doensot have a context to or doesnot have a apetite for it or plain, may not be bothered by it at ll or dorsnot like being bothered by “such” things, trivial. Feeling that you are just communicative enough to know the surface of the other, to reveal yours too. Wherein the need to connect deep, see the vulnerabilities, sometimes get judged, but most times not and express without much curtains and be listening when the need is that, and there are advices or suggestions which could be available, and it’s your pick to take them or leave without much guilt or heartburn on either side.

Yes its a lot that is getting asked.

Courtesy: gemini

As you are trying to take out as many masks as you are already tired of carrying, one of the above stratgies or something else should help to find a semblance.

Shrinking the self for the other is never the option, ideally.