I Am The Black Sheep

Are we all conformists in the modern age? Yes, we are looking for assurance these days- quite a lot! Conformism is what the world revolves around today. We all want to feel accepted and included. In the age where communities like feminists and minorities fight for their rights, it basically explains everything. Everybody wants to be seen these days. It’s a modern-day rat race.

Recently, I went to my dear friend’s birthday party, where he kept a dress code for everyone. It was a black top with jeans. Well, jeans for men, women can wear anything which is black. First of all, I don’t understand the trend of everybody wearing black these days. Yeah, sure, black is comforting, it makes you look tough and all, but in summer? One should wear light coloured clothes in summer, but whatever.

I started to think about the psychology of keeping this dress code behaviour. Maybe we can dive into that.

I have attended countless parties with my particular set of friends, and I have started noticing the pattern change off lately. Everyone has started getting warmer to each other, from friends they are becoming bros and dudes, so the need to create an impression has eased off a bit. But this never diminishes. You see, I am not a conformist at all. I only blend in to be a part of the circle where I can network more and generally be warm to others. But the rest of the world is basically conformist. They are programmed to feel accepted and sell themselves. Here I am specifically speaking about fashion, they all like to dress well in their own spectrum. Conformists are up to date with the trend, and they dress to impress, whereas a rebels like me dresses to express. I wear what makes me feel comfortable, whereas they dress to be a part of the herd- just like sheeps. The current trend includes baggy jeans and metallic rings as accessories, not to forget the messy, uncombed hair. I see guys putting on those like there’s no tomorrow.

This makes a spectrum of the trend, and the guys do their level best to enhance their game of dressing up in the spectrum. And as a result, all the guys in the room end up wearing the same kind of outfits with barely any room left for anything else. Whereas I am out of that spectrum and wear outfits that are considered ‘back to basics’ by everyone else. It’s not bad, but there’s nothing fancy about that as well. So what do we have here? I end up dressing differently from the crowd, and that creates an impression- something in which I have no interest. And it is the conformist mindset which led people to come up with an idea of a dress code for a party. The party is full of sheeps. Black-clothed individuals everywhere. There is no originality in the party at all, and I mean no offence to my friend. What I believe is that a person should let the rainbow of the spectrum flow to the minds of party attendants and let them choose their outfits. This way, their outfits speak more about them, it’ll announce them before they even start interacting. No colour code- no dress code. And you understand a lot about their individuality.

Some parties back, I met a girl who is supposedly best friends with one of my friends. And out of all women, she was the only one wearing a choker on her neck. That explained things about her. The other girl was wearing a leopard-skinned dress, and that explained things about her as well. At another party, there was a girl who seemed lost among the crowd, and she was wearing simple clothes. The bare-basics outfit a girl can ever wear. A sky-blue dress with white sandals. I knew for sure that she is not here to impress anyone- she is an expressive one. It’s because the smile on her face was genuine, and it never went away. Turns out she is a Hindustani classical singer. So I wasn’t wrong at all. A fellow artist among the sheep.

Coming back to my friend’s recent party, where everyone wore black, the atmosphere felt monotonous, and there was no mystery at all. Yes, black makes it look mysterious. But too many black creates a nightfall. It seemed dull to a rebel like me, maybe not for other conformists.

The problem with conformists is that they choose to remain blind. They don’t see the bigger picture, nor do they wish to get out of the mediocrity. It’s the same pattern repeating itself, and they enjoy just that. Just like sheeps- you leave them to graze on the same meadow, and they’ll feed on the same barren land.

And I have seen that happen in front of my eyes countless times in my lifetime. I have partied at least seven times with the same set of friends, and never have I seen anything new at any of those parties. Yes, the venues are different, and the food is prepared thoughtfully. But the music taste, the party structure and the conversation topics remain the same. Who can do those? Dude, life is too short for some things.

Let’s start with the party structure. What do you guys see? People start coming in, you’ll offer them drinks throughout the entirety of the party. Someone will crack a joke, and attention goes to that one, and depending on that one person, he or she will enjoy that attention. People will gossip, they will talk about that friend who did not attend the party, or they’ll share something interesting from yesteryears, which is either something dumb they have gotten away with, or an incident that happened to them, which they have absolutely no regrets sharing about in detail. And others laugh at it while holding their drink with one hand and using the other as a miscellaneous. I look at the miscellaneous hand, which tells me a lot about them. The idle hand is free, so they’ll keep them in their pockets, or high-five it, or cover their face while laughing. I observe all of those, and that’s because I get bored making the same conversations, so I stand aside and scan the room. I know that pattern, and I am prepared for what happens next. I know whose glass is empty, so that they’ll walk up to the bar and flush themselves. I know who is hungry for snacks after yapping for an hour. I know who is going to ask for some cigarettes, and I know who will give them company. I know it all. I even know who is playing the overplayed music.

And at this point, you may ask me, Karan, why do you even attend parties even though you get bored? Well, that’s because my friends are nice enough to invite me, and it would be rude of me not to attend. I attend, wish them, behave myself, and leave before others realise I was even there. Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that I possess some kind of hatred towards them. No. I am learning to co-exist with conformists as a misfit. Yes, rebels are misfits. There will always be a minority in a larger group. Always. That is the rule of patterns.

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR on Unsplash