When You Have No Money, You Become Someone Else

No money. Heart racing. So you push yourself harder — grinding yourself down.

Photo made by the author using Canva.

Sound familiar?

The pressure to do something now. The exhaustion and emptiness after trying so hard. And yet — still scrolling through information feeds trying to find an answer. Checking your bank balance and sighing. Telling yourself you need to try harder.

But no matter how hard you try, the anxiety won’t go away.

The harder you push, the more you panic. Does that sound familiar?

Good morning. Glad we crossed paths today.

I’m Fukushin — tap dance artist, former local government worker, and founder of the Estonian NGO “OTONI-WA MTÜ.” I write about building your own value through tap dancing and everyday life in Hokusetsu, Osaka.

Here’s something I’ve come to understand: when people feel like they have no money, they lose the ability to make good decisions. That’s not a personal flaw. That’s just how humans work. So if you’re in that place right now, you haven’t done anything wrong.

Having money — or feeling like you don’t — can turn you into a completely different person.

Everything I described above? That was me, this past April.

When I was a civil servant, my salary arrived on the 20th of every month like clockwork. I took it for granted. But the first 20th after I resigned — nothing came in. And something in me panicked.

— -

I’ve been watching a lot of content from a data analyst known for making complex ideas approachable. One framework really hit home for me.

Anxiety exists in four states:

When the problem is concrete — say, you’re exactly short on next month’s credit card payment — and you believe you can handle it, you act. You start a side hustle, cut expenses, look for a new job. You move.

But when the problem is just as concrete, and you don’t feel capable of handling it? You freeze. You stare at your bank account and watch time pass. You can’t look at your finances. You don’t know where to start.

Then there are the two states where the threat isn’t clearly visible — just a vague, formless dread. Will AI take my job? What about pensions? What’s going to happen to the economy? You keep absorbing anxious information without any clear target.

In this state, you stop steering. You hand the wheel to whoever’s loudest — extreme opinions online, social pressure, inertia. You distract yourself with unnecessary purchases or find other ways to escape.

And then there’s the fourth state: the future is uncertain, but you trust that you’ll probably figure it out.

You’re not free from anxiety. But you’re curious. You explore. You don’t wait for someone to hand you the right answer — you move, experiment, and build your own answer as you go. You’re the one holding the wheel.

In a world changing this fast, I think the fourth state is where we want to be. Because the truth is, nobody knows what’s coming. If you keep moving, you’ll find your way.

This April, when that first paycheck-less 20th arrived, I was hit by a wave of “I need to make money now.” I didn’t notice it at the time, but I wasn’t actually broke. I had enough.

I was running on the feeling of having no money. A sense of loss with no real basis. A quiet, grinding self-blame.

But feelings aren’t facts.

When I panicked, my vision narrowed. I felt hot, flushed, cornered. And that’s exactly when people make their worst decisions.

So how do you dissolve anxiety?

The insight from something I’ve lived — is this: real security doesn’t only come from having more money.

Even the wealthiest people carry the fear of losing everything. So what do you do?

You build self-capital.

Health. Experience. Knowledge. Community. Trust. Time. Your body. Your expression.

Even if you have no money right now, you can be building the kind of capital that generates money again later. And here’s the thing: if your bank account hit zero tomorrow, that capital wouldn’t disappear. You could rebuild. You’d create again.

True security isn’t in your balance. It’s in what you’ve built inside yourself.

— -

For me, that capital lives in dance.

Taking the experience of movement and bringing it into the world. Making someone’s body move — and through that, making something shift in their heart. That’s where I feel my own value.

What is your non-monetary capital?

I’d love to hear it in the comments.

— -

If reading this made you feel like you want a way to express yourself — to build capital in your body and your voice — I want to tell you: tap dancing is one of the most unexpectedly powerful ways to do that.

You don’t need dance experience. You don’t need to be athletic. You don’t even need a sense of rhythm. You can learn barefoot at home.

My online tap dance course — 38 Days to Tap — is designed to install the foundations of tap dancing into your body, one step at a time. Individual modules are also available separately.

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On this channel, I write about building a life where you can offer your own value to the world — through the five senses, through tap dancing, through the rhythms of everyday life.

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See you here again soon.