Calming the Storm: A Journey to Emotional Discipline

Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

Growing up, I had a bad temper — but only when I played sports. My competitive nature made youth athletic programs a constant source of frustration. Like Brad Pitt’s character in Moneyball, I could say, “I hate to lose! I hate to lose more than I like to win… and there is a difference.” That summed up my feelings about competition.

The problem was that my temper didn’t just affect me — it affected my performance, my teammates, and the outcomes of games. My emotions took over as soon as things didn’t go my way. My attitude spiraled downward, and it got so bad that sometimes it would’ve been better if I hadn’t played.

For my 16th birthday, a teammate gave me a lightweight Nerf ball with a message: “The next time you get upset could throw this instead of throwing and breaking another one of my things?” I had destroyed his Walkman after getting kicked out of a recent water polo game. It was a funny gift, but it hit me hard… WHO WAS I??? That moment made me realize I needed to rethink my behavior and how it affected my life.

Turning Point

After that birthday, I talked more to my church youth pastor, Kevin. He’d known me for a few years and was aware of my struggles with discipline on the field, or in this case, the pool. Kevin was always encouraging but also honest. He helped me see that I couldn’t change unless I wanted to.

One of the verses Kevin shared with me stuck:

“Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” ~ Proverbs 29:11

The word “calm” in this verse refers to the calming of a storm, which reminded me of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4:35–41. That’s the kind of control I wanted over my emotions. I realized that my temper wasn’t just a personal flaw — it was affecting my witness as a Christian. How could I reflect God’s grace and love to others if I couldn't control myself?

A Lifelong Process

That moment began a long and often challenging process of working on my temper. For over 30 years now, I’ve been striving to control my emotions and handle life’s storms with more wisdom and grace. I’m not perfect, but I’m much better than I used to be.

The Challenge

What about you?

Do people see you as someone who can control their emotions? Can they rely on you to bring calm to a storm instead of adding to it?

We can’t add value to others when we can’t control ourselves. I pray that you reflect on what causes you to lose your cool and take steps to calm the emotional storms in your life. It’s a journey worth taking, not just for yourself but for those around you.

Lead well,

MO

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