What Kind of Love Are We Actually Looking For?

Funny to know that even those tiny little creatures have find their love, and i have no one.

Gi-Jeong in “My Liberation Notes”

“And I’m going to love just anyone..”

At that moment, I immediately fell deep in thought and could understand why she had said that.

Since I’ve never found my love before, deep down in my heart, I also want to feel the sweetness of love, the butterfly in my stomach, or just a slight electric shock when we accidentally touched each other. Find love is hard to me, I don’t know whether it’s just that I’m not very noticeable or whether there really isn’t anything that takes my fancy. Sometimes, I even wonder so much — is there really someone out there for me?

I’ve read lots of romance novels, heard lots of stories and watched lots of romcom, and all that actually make me believe in love. I’ve even gone so far as to deceive my own heart by pretending to be moved by a sad song that, ironically, has now become my favorite.

Do I look like I’m begging for love? I hope i’m not.. but, what’s actually wrong with that? I’m not begging to have a relationship with someone, i just want to find someone that i can feel what love actually is.

But then i asked myself, “Why?”

Some people might enjoy their love lives, while others might curse and rail against theirs. Then why am I searching for love? and what kind of love i’m looking for?

Nope, I won’t answer the question in the title that I’ve come up with myself, if you wondering, because to be honest, i don’t know. On the contrary, I’m the one who’s going to ask you: what sort of love do you want? Is it a struggle? fate? A bond that lasts until death do us part? to get married and start a lovely family? Or is it simply a matter of showing affection for one another?

Or maybe… love is about all of that?

Well, I’m still getting by in my loveless life by listening to love songs. And maybe Gi-Jeong was right, I should just love anyone. Maybe I’ll close my eyes in the crowd, count to ten, and then love whoever is standing in front of me (Ridiculous indeed).

But again, Am I really that resigned to the idea of finding love on my own?