Rhinoplasty…Hopefully The Last Of My FFS

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Approximately a year ago around this time I was dealing with some complications with my initial facial feminization surgery (FFS). You can read about it here. But if you want the cliff notes version, basically I had extra granular tissue continue to grow back that my surgeon had no idea why it kept coming back so he had to schedule an actual procedure to remove it all.

It was around this time last year in October I distinctly remember sitting in my electrologist’s chair talking about all of this. I just have to say that my electrologist is like my second therapist. Her and I have a no holds barred kind of relationship where nothing is off the table to talk about from sexuality to relationships to transitioning to whatever.

So I am sitting there and she was like “So this is all going to be covered by insurance right?” (alluding to the second FFS cleanup procedure). I was like “Yeah, it has to since it’s a complication of the initial FFS. Hell at this point they would also cover a nose job for me as well if I wanted it.” Then she was like “You should TOTALLY do it! I mean if it’s covered by insurance, why wouldn’t you want to get a nice cute little nose?” Those words stuck with me for some reason…more on that later.

At this point I just expressed that I wanted to be done with FFS. I hate having to drive into Philadelphia where my surgeon is at (Penn Med). It’s really just a hassle to go up there for postops and pay for parking and whatnot. My electrologist was like “Just think about it…you never know.”

Fast forward to May of this year and me getting my hair done for the summer. My hairstylist did an amazing job as always and took a bunch of pictures. A few of the pictures were of a side angle and that is when I saw it. My nose now does not fit my now smaller face. It looked so big and out of place.

I honestly started to obsess over it and it was something I never thought was going to add to my gender dysphoria but here we are. I knew right then that I had to explore the possibility of getting a rhinoplasty.

So I am in my surgeon’s office for a preop for the cleanup surgery scheduled for June and it was then that I expressed an interest in having a rhinoplasty. Mind you this was something that my surgeon and I discussed as part of the initial FFS and we both agreed that if I wanted it, we could talk about it after my initial FFS healed up. So that moment became now and there was zero hesitation from my surgeon as he has been nothing but supportive all along this journey. [NB: I do want to add an update with respect to my cleanup surgery that was in June. My surgeon looked at it the morning of the rhinoplasty and said everything looks great and has healed up perfectly so that should close up that issue going forward, thank goodness!]

So fast forward to September 4, 2025 the date of my rhinoplasty and surprisingly enough, that is where they went over the specifics of the procedure. My surgeon was there but it looks like he brought in another surgeon who specialized in rhinoplasties which if I am being honest, I would prefer a specialist with my surgeon consulting / assisting as there is a lot of hardware in my face now so my surgeon can advise as to any of that during the surgery.

The specialist, I remember his first name being Zack, so let’s call him Dr. Zack. He saw me first as I was sitting in my hospital bed and he went over what he saw that needed to be fixed. He said I had a dorsal hump along the nasal canal that he planned on smoothing out and one side of my nose had extra cartiladge so they were going to even that out. Also aesthetically, he gave me what the “current style” is for rhinoplasty’s and it is the smaller nose overall but with the nostrils bending upwards. Dr. Zack was sure to throw the caveat in there “Results may vary!” Like yup, completely understood lol.

Shortly after my surgeon came in after Dr. Zack’s assessment and I went through everything they were planning on doing. I then added in Dr. Zack’s caveat “Results may vary” and they both had a good chuckle.

My surgeon added a couple of things to Dr. Zack’s assessment as he said “Amber, you’ll excuse me but I’m going to talk shop with Dr. Zack for a second.” And then he rambled off a lot of medical mumbo stuff but look I trust my surgeon as well as the doctors as Penn Med. Hey, we’ll see how it turns out…results may vary right?!? lol

Then after the quick say 10–15 minute assessments, I waited awhile until the OR (Operating Room) was being sterilized and ready for my procedure. Then the anesthesilogist asked “What kind of music do you want to listen to while in there before going under?” Honestly I love EDM but if I am going for a procedure, the last thing I need is my heart rate / blood pressure to spike because I like one of the inherently fast beat high bpm (beats per minute) songs lol.

So I said “Classical please.” He was taken aback by it but he was like “Sure you got it.” So I am in the OR and I hear a song playing no doubt from the anesthesiologist’s Spotify and it’s Debussy — Claire De Lune. I want to mention that I love all kinds of music and by no means am I a classical nut so me recognizing the song was sheer happenstance. But the last thought I had before konking out was “Well if I don’t wake up this is a helluva a song to go out on lol.”

As you all know I woke up if I am clearly writing this article lol. But I want to mention something that someone once said to me jokingly before the surgery “Don’t get too addicted to plastic surgery! You don’t want to become some bimbo!”

This is the point where I say that all these surgeries while necessary are just rough on the body both physically and mentally. Look I don’t know about you but getting surgeries sucks regardless of what they are for. You have to line up getting rides to and from surgery and even postops. Not to mention every surgery is a risk that you are taking with your life.

But the real kicker is the healing process. It ABSOLUTELY sucks. Who would want to subject themselves to this kind of pain and suffering willingly? Well look no further than your friendly neighborhood trans woman of course!

So I waited to write this article because it has been exactly one (1) week since my surgery (on 9/4) and I wanted to give an honest assessment of the surgery / recovery instead of dwelling on how bad it was the first twelve (12) hours. Speaking of that, the first 12 hours after surgery was pretty much hell. The hospital gave me a ton of gauze pads and medical tape knowing that my nose was going to just pretty much continue to bleed for the first 24 hours following surgery.

I can unequivocally tell you that I never knew a human being could lose that much blood. My trashcan was filled with just various bloodied gauze pads. It was pretty horrendous as well as woozy walking around my house, lol.

After the bleeding subsided and I was not relegated to gauze replacement duty, I now had the issue of leakage from both nostrils. In reading up on my postop discharge instructions, it said the red blood leakage would eventually turn to a pinkish hue skewing to a darker color as the scabbing process took hold (which is a good thing btw!) So a week later, the leakage while still an issue, is very minor and only affects one of the nostrils but is now primarily the darker color for the leakage so yeah, healing!

In addition to just the nose issues, I had a Denver splint put on my nose. If you aren’t familiar with what those are, just picture a plastic nose cast that goes on your nose which is a problem because I wear prescription glasses to be able to see and drive. My eyes are bad but I can definitely see without glasses as nothing is blurry, it’s just that I’m nearsighted (which means I can’t see stuff from far away). But wearing the glasses with the splint while doable, is a pain in the ass.

Not to mention the splint has been irritating one of my eyes causing it to water. I think what happened was some of it got put over one of my eyelashes and it is causing it to water here and there. So that’s another issue I have been dealing with (thank goodness it comes off 7–10 days after surgery so my surgeon’s office said it can come off Monday!)

Then there are the two (2) black eyes I received as a result of the procedure. So on my walks with the pup I am getting all these funny looks like “What the hell happened to her?” I don’t care and to be honest, I am walking throug some rich neighborhoods at times so please I know some of y’all have had rhinoplasties…so spare me the judgment lol.

Finally I have been decongested as F*CK. So much so that I promptly lost my sense of smell and taste later that night after surgery. Sudafed has been my best friend this past week but since things are starting to clear up in that regard I am just getting my sense of taste/smell back, I can stop the Sudafed soon.

But this is taking a mental toll as well besides the physical one. I hate not being able to breathe through my nose. Constantly stuff up, bruised and battered. When Dr. Zack asked me if I am good at handling adversity when it comes to surgeries, I told him “Well after my initial FFS my eyes swelled shut for two (2) days, I couldn’t eat for 4.5 days and my scalp was numb for 3.5 months.” Dr. Zack was like “Well this won’t be anywhere near as bad, so you got this.”

That I do “got this” because for all of the above I know that this suffering is temporary and my new nose will be forever. Probably the last bit of my face to out me was my nose…besides my facial hair of course which I have been diligently working on getting removed via electrolysis. But I do want to mention that surprisingly…and I know no one will believe me is I have been pain free throughout so that’s been a major plus.

But I can’t help to think the words of my electrologist played a role in all this. It’s not that I want to have a cute nose, but more importantly I read about so much regret with trans women not doing this or that while younger and healthier I might add that I do not want that for myself. to

So the planets all aligned in this moment where insurance will thankfully cover the procedure. I am the healthiest (and happiest) I have ever been in my life to be able to get the procedure. But more importantly, I don’t want any regrets when I look back on my transition journey. Because as we all know, life is too short to live with regrets!

All the Best!

• Amber

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