Let People Introduce Themselves

To be clear: This applies only to the point where an introduction starts shaping how a person should be perceived, not to every kind of introduction. I’m not talking about basic introductions, kindness or everyday social manners.

Say I’m introducing my friend Eugene to another friend, Charlotte. [With interpretation] “Hey, this is Eugene. He’s a bit private, but very genuine.” “Hey Charlotte, this is Eugene. He’s not as intimidating as he looks.”

They may look absolutely fine and harmless and some may even sound kind. But here, there is something more than just getting introduced. They begin to shape how Eugene is seen before Charlotte gets the chance to know him for herself.

A simple instance of this is when someone says, “She’s shy, but once you know her, she’s amazing.” It sounds sweet, but it still tells people how to see her before they have met her properly.

And that’s the point.

Instead: “Hey, this is Eugene. We know each other from work.” “Hey Charlotte, this is Eugene. I’m really glad you both are meeting.”

The idea is to let people be.

For instance, “Hey Charlotte, this is Eugene. Eugene, this is Charlotte.” [And then stop. Create space for the conversation. Just be the catalyst.]

Whether we admit it or not, people care about how they are seen. They want to leave their own impression on certain people in certain moments. That impression may be incomplete or even different from what others assume, but that’s still up to them.

It may seem like a very small thing. But small things often decide the tone of human connection.

You can introduce a person. You do not need to interpret them. Because sometimes, respect is simply knowing where to stop.