Speak Kindly to Yourself

We humans are typically careful about how we talk to each other. We tiptoe around all kinds of issues like politics. We gingerly bring up personal topics like relationships, illnesses, problems at work, etc.

If a friend asks us:

• if they look fat
• if an outfit is becoming
• or how we might like their new hairstyle

We try to answer without saying anything that might be construed as insulting.

Having said all that, there is one person with whom we don’t take care to edit what we say. That person is you.

If you could talk to yourself as you talk to others, what would you say? How would you reframe your conversation? How would you be kind to yourself?

A suggestion I have is to act ‘as if’ you are talking to a person other than yourself-what would you tell them as to being kind to themselves? What advice would you give? Contrast that with what you tell yourself.

Once you think of your self-talk that way, try to flip the narrative. See how cleansing it is to be kind to yourself. It’s a big weight you can take off of your own shoulders.

A very beneficial tool to accomplish your goal is to write a personal social story. An example of that would be to write a narrative about your experiences with self-talk. It’s helpful to compose the story as if you’re writing a short story. The length of one-page is a good goal. When writing, try to be truthful and ‘real’ with yourself. Describe when you first noticed that your thoughts about yourself tend toward the negative. Once you’ve described the form your self-talk takes in your story, come up with a solution as to how you can flip the narrative to start becoming positive and kind to yourself.

Your social story can be the foundation for a new regard for the personal narrative that flows through your mind.

I’d love to talk to you about your social story and what you’ve learned from it.

Check out my website here to learn more about who I am and what I do.

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