DR Who Wants to Be Alive in 25 Days: The Pain
For a while, I thought my desire to die had begun to fade.
DR Who Wants to Be Alive in 25 Days: The Pain
For a while, I thought my desire to die had begun to fade.
But it seems it never really did.
If anything, the thoughts have become more direct than before.
More and more often, the idea of dying quietly slips into my mind.
I find myself hoping that death might finally bring relief.
That’s how painful it feels to stay alive.
The belief that I would be better off dead has grown stronger.
I don’t know what happens after death.
No one truly does.
But there is a possibility that everything could simply be forgotten.
That consciousness itself could come to an end.
Sometimes I find myself clinging to that possibility.
It’s not that my partner or my family aren’t important to me.
They mean a great deal to me.
I know they would grieve if I were gone.
Even so, living is painful.
The weight of regret and guilt feels so overwhelming that I want to escape from it through death.
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