HE STILL WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND

Top Songs James Taylor Never Sang

They call him “sweet baby James” for a reason

As I was saying, they really do call him Sweet Baby James. Amazon.

There’s just something about swim meets. After sitting there for hours waiting for your kid to finally compete, you start to think about things you’d never otherwise consider. I’m not even sure why I started thinking about James Taylor. Maybe the concession stand hot dogs made me remember his the long-forgotten song off his first album about being a chili dog:

“Make my bed out of Wonder Bread Spread some mustard upon my head I don’t want no onions or sauerkraut, mama Hold on to the bun baby, work it on out

I’m a chili dog….”

Then again, maybe not, but after that all I could think about were the things he’s sung about including mental illness, traffic jams, being a friend, pet pigs and I realized there were many things he’d never sing about. These songs are just a few modest examples.

We Are Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift

I guess that’s the anti-thesis of being the person who will “come runnin’, runnin’, to see you again.”

“Happiness Is A Warm Gun” by The Beatles

I’m not really sure these people look all that happy. Wikipedia.

Well that’s not very friendly, now is it?

“Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne

“Tom Sawyer” by Rush

”The Bitch Is Back” by Elton John

I may be a good friend, but I’m not that good a friend. Photo by XT7 Core on Unsplash

“Grenade” by Bruno Mars

A friend might take a grenade for ya, put their hand on a blade for ya and jump in front of a train for ya, but it would have to be a really, really good friend.

“The Macarena” by Los del Rio

Sure, he’s a great folk singer and all, but can he play the guitar and dance The Macarena at the same time?Photo by Luke Thornton on Unsplash

It’s hard to sit on a stool, play a guitar and do The Macarena all at the same time.

“Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift

The more I listen to this song, the more I wonder if this was a friend whose name got called out and had to come runnin' too many times only to discover that the feelings weren’t mutual.

“Big Shot” by Billy Joel

James doesn’t know anybody at Elaine’s and he’s too much of a gentleman to tell the story of the lady’s success…whatever that means.

“My Ding A Ling” by Chuck Barry

A novelty song about a chili dog or a heart felt ballad about having to kill a pet pig (“Mona”) may be one thing, but there are some things that a folk singer just won’t do and playing with his ding-a-ling is one of them.

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