Cherry on top

I don’t remember exactly when I first heard or read it, but there was a saying in the book The Art of Love that stuck with me: you are responsible for your own happiness, but not another person. When I first heard this, I couldn’t understand it at all. At that time, I was in a toxic, complicated relationship, and I desperately wanted to fix and save it. That’s why I immersed myself in topics like “relationships,” “love,” and “communication.”

But later, after we broke up, I sat with myself and felt… nothing. No sadness, no happiness — just me. I slowly returned to doing the things I used to do. I felt no regret or anger toward my ex. I had only one simple thought: we all should be happy, and that’s it.

Then something hit me. Questions like: How do I want to be loved? What do I truly want in a relationship? What was I fighting so desperately for?

The answer came to me instantly: the only person who can make me feel fully loved, happy, and respected is ME. I need to love myself more than anything. I need to respect myself more. I need to leave the very second someone disrespects me.

That was what I needed the most.

A partner is like the cherry on top. With or without them, you should remain yourself. You should be just as happy single as you are in a relationship. Their presence adds a little extra spice, but it should never be the foundation of your life. That was one of the most important messages from the book that I couldn’t understand before, but now I do.

Every person who comes into our life brings either a lesson or a blessing. Either way, we win.