Nihilism Is Not a Philosophical Stance—It’s a Psychopathology

Anyone can argue life has no meaning. But why do some people buy that argument, while others happily ignore it? (Image: Unsplash)

Nihilism is not so much a philosophical stance as it is a psychopathology. Any guy on Reddit can argue that life has no purpose, and that this universe has no meaning at all. But to actually be psychologically affected by this argument? That’s not philosophy. That’s psychology.

And if I’ve learned one thing throughout this year, trying to fix my life, solve my anxiety, and get rid of my depression? It’s that feelings are often post-hoc justified: You feel a certain way, and then you justify why you feel that way with words. But the words are almost never the source of that feeling; instead, the words are your mind’s best guess at labeling something you already intrinsically feel.

So yes: Life has no meaning. But do you really think that life has no meaning because it is philosophically defensible, or do you simply feel that way because you’ve lost your job and your dog died, and your wife left you, and your children don’t like you anymore, and you’re one step away from homelessness?

I certainly think it’s the latter. And as I’ve looked at my life throughout the past year, a lot of things have changed. I’ve stopped working as hard in school. I’ve tried to take it easy and not push myself too much. I started to lay in bed all day and watch YouTube or Netflix. All of which was relaxing and enjoyable for the first couple of weeks, after which it just became mentally unbearable.

Nihilistic thoughts and anxious mental states emerged. Sadness over anything in particular. Past memories coming back to me and carrying such a strong emotional charge that it paralyzes my every behavior. None of these memories had even bothered me that much before, but all of a sudden they are so daunting and depressing in a way that kills my drive to continue doing anything at all.

Which brings me to reason: These nihilistic thoughts and anxious mental states are not a product of anything logical; instead, they are thoughts that emerge out of something entirely unrelated. Perhaps I was oriented toward a goal, and I had my life together because I was passionate about doing well in school. But maybe somehow, one way or another, I became captured by this idea that it would be better to take a break and refrain from pushing myself too hard.

Little did I know, however, that pushing myself was the one thing protecting me from psychological dysfunction. Little did I know that, the moment I disengaged from goal pursuit, I would succumb to these strange mental states that I had never even expected. And now that I’m in this slump, I’ve found it so hard to get back into that grind. All my assignments feel harder. Waking up early feels dreadful. And I am trying desperately to restore my agency and go back to being the studious, boring guy I once was.

I don’t think it’ll be easy. I think it’ll require a lot of mental fortitude. But at least I know, now, not to trust any nihilistic thoughts or anxious impulses. Any fool can argue that life has no meaning. Any fool can get worried about anything in particular. But why exactly do some people feel affected by these arguments, while other people live life happily with zero care for them whatsoever? I get the suspicion that the latter group has a well-rounded sense of pursuit in life. So let’s try to rebuild my sense of purpose, and orient myself toward a valued goal once again.