FAMILY|PETS|DOGS

How it Feels to Have a Baby Who Never Grows Up

With a bottomless appetite for love and anything edible!

Portrait of Mishko in Watercolour by my daughter

Boss Baby Beagle and his human slaves. Image generated by author using MS Designer

Are you familiar with a movie called Boss Baby about corporate-manufactured babies who drink secret baby formula to gain intelligence yet remain as babies?

I think my bossy beagle is one of them!

He is, as his name suggests in Russian — ‘God’s ideal gift’. He came into our lives on Onam, a joyous festival celebrated in Kerala, marking the arrival of spring after the rains with flowers and feasts.

He immediately became the darling of everyone around with his tiny persona skipping straight into our hearts. My daughter had severe allergy issues before, but Mishko miraculously cured that for her.

When I had my daughter, my husband got a measly 10 days’ leave to spend with her, as he was on a military deputation elsewhere. So, when Mishko arrived and was crying for his mother at night, my husband sat with him all night holding him and making him feel safe and loved. It took him about a month to feel secure and to sleep in his bed.

My Baby, Mishko. Photo by Author

They are also tiny bundles of joy with a bottomless pit for a tummy.

NO, I AM NOT EXAGGERATING!

They don’t understand satiety! The very act of eating is the ultimate fulfilment.

You bring out anything remotely edible in the household; these super-sniffer hounds will magically poof into existence and will stare into your soul begging for a taste. Their sense of smell is only second to bloodhounds.

His senses are so tuned to his food bowl that if I drop a single piece of carrot in there, he will climb mountains, cross oceans and battle rhinos and yet materialise in front of me before that piece settles down.

Their innocent weapons-grade gaze will decimate all your defenses, and you shall hand them whatever they want. No matter what the size of the treat is, it will be gobbled up before two shakes of a lamb’s tail, as these cuddle monsters lack a system for elaborate chewing.

One wonders if they sniff the food directly into their tummies.

Stop it Hooman, I know I am cute, but I am done with posing! Photo by Author.

My bossy 3-year-old beagle is well-behaved, contrary to the popular opinion about them. Beagles are not hyperactive. They seek attention because they are a bundle of energy and need to run and play and be themselves.

He is intelligent and instinctively senses our emotions and moods and behaves accordingly. If I am sad and sit on the carpet pondering how unfair life is, this guy will land next to me staring deep into my eyes and if I smile, he will immediately put his head into my lap and turn over for a belly rub.

He also seeks permission before waking us up in the morning, i.e., if we as much as look in his direction and smile, he will smack into us at the speed of light.

He doesn’t touch anything that doesn’t belong to him and sleeps all day with his paws facing the sky, unless he is called or required or if he finds something to pique his curiosity. Then he does his curious head tilts to figure out the novelty. It is the funniest thing ever!

He loves to play with kind people and growls at anyone who disrespects him and insults his intelligence. He is too smart to do menial tasks without a reward. He remembers people who are kind to him and loves them wholeheartedly.

He does not like other male dogs and barks hellfire upon anyone who enters his personal space which might be a two-block radius! However, Romeo is literally quoting Shakespeare when he meets a lady beagle!

These little guys are cuteness overload and have a talent for relentlessly whining their way into anything they want.

These hounds instinctively chase smells and dart in all directions, leaving you disoriented.

We don’t get to walk them; they walk us. If you are daydreaming about them strutting elegantly beside you in a proper line, it is time to splash icy cold water on your face and let go of that pipe dream.

Although these wonderful beings bring joy and laughter into our lives, many people are not aware of the tremendous amount of care they require.

Like babies and children, they need a lot of love, time and attention 24/7 and would collapse at your feet, hankering for a generous belly rub every time they see you.

They have inclinations, tendencies and requirements unique to their breed and personalities, and one cannot keep them as props/pets to satisfy whims and fancies.

They are not genies who present themselves only when you beckon.

Mishko Looking at the Langurs outside. Photo taken by Author

Our family hasn’t flown together since Mishko came into our lives. We cannot bear to see him traumatized in the airplane. We travel by road everywhere, and he has the entire rear seat reserved for him. Boss cannot do without a window seat!

They have their ways of communication, and we need to interpret the signs to understand their requirements. Of course, there can be misunderstandings, as with any form of communication. You can’t just cuddle or pet them without their consent. They are sentient beings, not robots who will provide a handshake on command.

I wish that people bring them into their lives only if they are willing to commit themselves to these babies for the entirety of their lifetime and nothing less.

[embed]The Monkey Who Wanted to See Better He ran away with prescription glasses.medium.com

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