‘I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘isname’ or — Awesome Welles?

‘I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘isname’ (1967) is generally regarded as one of Michael Winner’s best pictures, and it’s easy to see why because that might very well be the case. So, let’s do something radically different today and lavish some praise on the guy.

But first, a brief synopsis.

Young advertising executive, Andrew Quint (Oliver Reed), quits his job in order to start a more meaningful existence working for the small literary magazine he once edited on leaving Cambridge. However, any meaning he’s searching for still proves elusive and the elements of his former life he’d been hoping to escape — an ex-wife, Louise (Wendy Craig); his old boss, Lute (Orson Welles); the school bullies of his youth — refuse to disappear. Maybe escape is ultimately impossible?

Initially ‘I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘isname’ threatens to be one of those snarky British Sixties pieces about a disaffected young man who moans about everything around him and treats the many women in his life like crap, and for the first thirty minutes or so that’s kinda what we get.

Except Quint and his issues aren’t the film’s primary target with Peter Draper’s script gradually revealing itself to be more focused on the oppressive nature of tradition, the consequences of individualism, commerce vs. art and, most prominently, the physical and cultural waste generated by society. As Lute says to Quint at one point — “In the 20th Century, waste is the main product of all human endeavours”.

Draper’s script is smart (“He’s a one-ulcer man in a two-ulcer job”) and Winner brings it to the screen with a decent amount of energy and punch, although Winner’s real secret weapon is also his biggest undeniable strength — he always puts together a great cast.

And it’s not just great casting but also how he allows the supporting actors to simply do what they do best, and here we get to enjoy such notable names as Michael Horden, Frank Finlay, Marianne Faithful, Harry Andrews, Edward Fox and Wendy Craig all clearly enjoying themselves. Although the real star of the show is Orson Welles who looks as though he’s having the most fun he’s ever had in his life.

There’s a scene on a houseboat where Welles’ Lute is attempting to seduce Quint back into the world of advertising and, as he does so, Lute is preparing himself a bowl of cereal, a cereal he’s treating as a commercial product and wondering if people really start their mornings on such stuff. Just before the scene ends Welles eats a spoonful, chokes on it, spits it out in disgust and mutters in horror “My god!” It was at this precise moment I fell madly in love with this movie.

And Welles just keeps getting funnier because every time we’re reintroduced to him he’s always doing something increasingly hilarious: in the next scene we find him surrounded by sexy women playing Scalextrix; the scene after that he’s on a railway platform arguing with a Speak-Your-Weight machine. Apparently Welles said that Lute was the best character he played since Harry Lime in ‘The Third Man’ (1949) and he’s clearly having such a blast here I genuinely believe him (this might not be Welles’ best role but it’s definitely his funniest).

The film climaxes with what might be the most perfect piece of cinema Michael Winner has ever concocted. You see, Quint has agreed to make one last advert for Lute. It’s to advertise Japanese cameras and in order to entice Quint to do the job Lute has provided him with total creative freedom, plus an unlimited budget, in the hopes it will win a prestigious advertising award. Quint, however, has other ideas so sets about to intentionally sabotage proceedings by making the worst advert the world has ever seen (but also, not surprisingly, one that could theoretically win).

It’s a challenge because what this means is that Winner must film something that is simultaneously truly god-awful, utterly inspired, artistically demented, commercially viable, deeply personal and morally repugnant… and he not only pulls it off but does so brilliantly! It’s absolutely phenomenal but, then again, why should we be surprised because all those elements ARE Michael Winner in a nutshell so if anyone could combine all those qualities together it’s him.

‘I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘isname’ isn’t quite one of the best comedies of the Sixties (it can get a little too muddled in places), and I’m not even too sure it might be Winner’s best film, but it is, without a shadow of a doubt, the best film starring both Wendy Craig and Orson Welles I’ve seen in my entire life.