Snakes of Utter Sadness

As I learned to hate I grew bitter and diseased. Until finally an implosion took place; I imploded -inside out. Falling down and down a rabbit hole but there was no wonderland at the bottom. Only a pit, pitch black with fear as large roaming insects and snakes of utter sadness.

Looking back the view did have a sense of beauty to it. In reality however it was a hanging of the soul. I climbed out? I don’t think so… the pit is very deep. I think I just outgrew it — still inside the pit but having made friends with the fear insects and sad snakes.

Is it numbness then? Yes but a certain mindful awakening as well. Meaning and purpose pulled through with faith in the driving seat.

Just filled with gratitude for the whole chain of events; the past, present and future. Wouldn’t change it for the world. A certain magic exists in my life and I pray it stays. Clinginess of what was before has finally left my existence. I stay present. I yearn to learn and to grow. That yearning has internalized. A yearning to be more of myself and my universe even more.

A craving of curiosity has made me aware that I truly don’t know anything except what I have made my own.