Experiencing Parenthood

Nobody mentions how fast when it happens the world can feel like it is being opened up.

Photo by Marcin Jozwiak on Unsplash

Not as extreme and exciting as movie dramas tend to show. Quieter. Stranger. It feels like you entered a world you never imagined, and now you are stuck in it.

It was a scream that signaled its beginning. Not hers. Mine. The room where he was born was full of lights, machine beeps and hurried voices. My partner gripped the edge of what was real, and I held her hand as it emptied and our baby arrived.

Then, silence. A terrifying, uncomfortable noiselessness.

Time seemed to move very slowly. The nurses looked quite serious. One said something quietly, and the other searched for a way to get aid.

As soon as I almost could not hold the weight anymore, The request was made.

Very thin, not cooked and very beautiful.

Photo by Talha Hadi on Unsplash

They held him up to her breast, and I honestly believe the room became a different color. Suddenly, the bright hospital light was like the first light of morning.

His official name is Theo. A mere eight pounds, yet they carry huge responsibility from the beginning. He wrapped himself in a blanket burrito, fell asleep, and I watched his breaths that night.

I cried much more than I ever had before.

Being honest, taking care of a baby is not only about diapers, feeding or lack of sleep.

It centers on not being tough. The nightmare thought that your heart now beats inside someone else rather than in your own chest. That what causes you sorrow is what causes them sorrow, too. Their gladness was the fulfillment of your salvation.

It is the noise of little footsteps echoing down the hall in the middle of the night, whispering they have had a bad dream.

I see how peaceful they are as they sleep, and I keep my hopes that nothing will harm them.

It takes all control away and gives something much bigger in return.

What kind of life experience is having a child?

Life feels similar to walking along a cliff.

And enjoying the feel of Fall.