🍃 PIECE 🍃

Dear me, dear heart, dear body,

I am sorry that I so often saw you as a project. It was simply so easy to focus only on workout plans, meal plans, grocery lists, and meal inspiration — and for a very long time, I genuinely enjoyed that. But lately, I’ve realized that this should not be the only focus in life. Because when it is, so much quality of life gets lost.

I want to give you back what you truly need — independent of the opinions of others, experts, family, or friends — but instead what I can feel you can tolerate and what is good for you. I promise that from now on, I will listen closely, try to understand and interpret your signals, and give you what you need. I trust you to tell me what serves you.

I will probably always shape you a little and still see you from time to time as a kind of project — but no longer in a harsh way, no longer by pushing or punishing you. Rather, I want to see it as an experiment, with curiosity and joy. And I will no longer focus solely on you. Because the other areas of life — university, friends, relationships, family, my interests, and my creativity — define me just as much as you do, and they need care too.

I promise you that from now on, you will be fed regularly — with good food, delicious food, and food that you tolerate well. I hope my mind won’t try to sabotage this, but I will stay strong and keep fighting. I will succeed. I will trust you and walk this path with you from now on, not against you.

Because you are my home, and you always will be. I want to feel comfortable within you, to arrive, to feel fulfilled. But that requires me to treat you well and to approach you with kindness. That won’t happen overnight, but I will work on it — and I will give you compliments too.

First of all, I want to thank you for holding on for so long and for enduring so much. I often overloaded you — with exercise, food rules, negative thoughts, irregularity, no breaks at all — and used you like a machine. But that ends now.

From now on, you will be used in a positive way. You will be nourished, strengthened, and given rest — because only then can this be sustainable. I want to have fun and still keep my routines, but no longer out of pressure or compulsion — rather out of freedom, choice, and intuition.

Thank you for going along with my mind for so long and adapting to it. Now you are allowed to express your needs again. Even if they are quiet at first, I will be attentive and mindful, trying to feel them until you trust yourself enough to signal them clearly to me again. I will give you a broader range of options, and you can always choose what you need.

Agreed. Promised.

I also want to apologize for calling you “fat” again and again, or for my mind being dissatisfied with you. I cannot change you — I was given to you, and that is okay. I accept you as you are. I never truly hated you; I just didn’t know what I needed to change in my outer circumstances so that I could feel good on the inside.

I am already doing my best — eating balanced meals so your digestion works better, moving my body, exercising. But I don’t want to do more than that. I don’t want to dedicate all my time to sports just to shape you. My mind needs nourishment too — my intellect and my creativity. That means you will no longer be in constant use. I promise.

So here is another promise: I am standing beside you now. We will walk this path together. I will no longer turn against you or place myself above you. We will decide together, even when it gets hard.

I want you to trust me again. I want an honest relationship between us — an honest connection.

Thank you once more. I am looking forward to this life with you by my side, to the shared steps ahead, and I am curious about what awaits us.

Yours, No more small Girl