The Department of Selective Forgetting
Not every memory belongs in permanent storage
Domestic Surrealism
The Department of Selective Forgetting
Not every memory belongs in permanent storage
Creation by Mary Fiore, using Midjourney and Photoshop.
Somewhere between the Permanent Record and the Historical Grievance Archives sits a smaller office known as the Department of Selective Forgetting.
It receives considerably less funding.
Most residents support its mission in principle.
The difficulty arises when deciding which memories qualify.
The department’s official purpose is straightforward
To identify incidents that no longer serve a useful purpose and release them from active circulation.
Applications may be submitted for
- Forgotten birthdays
- Missed anniversaries
- Unreturned phone calls
- Trash collection disputes
- Holiday travel negotiations
- Remarks beginning with “I thought you knew”
Not every application is approved.
Some are immediately referred for additional review.
Categories Under Review
Creation by Mary Fiore, using Midjourney and Photoshop.
The department reviews hundreds of requests each year.
Some files arrive in a single folder.
Others require a hand truck.
The department remains neutral regarding all matters involving holiday travel.
The Review Committee
Creation by Mary Fiore, using Midjourney and Photoshop.
Applications are reviewed by a committee consisting of a practical person, a sentimental person and a houseplant.
The practical person believes most disputes could have been avoided with a calendar.
The sentimental person believes every disagreement contains an important lesson.
The houseplant recommends sunlight, water, and moving on.
The houseplant has the highest approval rating.
The committee does not always agree.
The practical person favors efficiency.
The sentimental person favors understanding.
The houseplant favors photosynthesis.
Its recommendations are surprisingly effective.
The Appeals Process
Creation by Mary Fiore, using Midjourney and Photoshop.
Applicants whose requests are denied may submit additional evidence.
Many do.
The department has observed that people claiming to be completely over an issue are often willing to provide extensive records demonstrating exactly why they are over it.
Storage space remains an ongoing concern.
Common Reasons for Denial
Creation by Mary Fiore, using Midjourney and Photoshop.
Applications may be rejected if
- The applicant still brings up the matter during unrelated conversations.
- The applicant maintains a color-coded archive.
- The phrase “That’s not the point” appears repeatedly in supporting documents.
- New evidence is submitted before the original application is reviewed.
- The applicant can recall exact wording from an event that occurred before streaming services existed.
Lucy submitted a request to retire the Forgotten Anniversary of 2019.
The committee noted that she remembered all the details including the restaurant, weather, table location, and what Bert was wearing.
The application was denied.
Bert submitted a request concerning Easter at Lucy’s sister’s house.
Under Reason for Retirement he wrote:
“I feel the matter has become self-sustaining.”
The committee agreed this was an interesting observation.
The application was denied.
The Annual Release Ceremony
Creation by Mary Fiore, using Midjourney and Photoshop.
At the end of each year, a small number of grievances are approved for retirement.
The files are carried into the courtyard.
A brief statement is read.
The grievance is thanked for its years of service.
The folder is then released from active duty.
Last year the department successfully retired a forgotten birthday, Easter travel disagreement, and trash related disputes.
As attendees departed, Bert turned to Lucy and asked if she thought the process worked.
Lucy said she did.
Bert asked if there was anything else either of them should submit.
Lucy smiled.
“Several things.”
The department considers this a promising sign.
The houseplant was not surprised.
Related Reviews and Assessments
Readers interested in additional household findings may wish to consult
**The Annual Audit of Unspoken Expectations**
**Interpretive Listening Department**
Additional investigations are ongoing.
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