Vault 29

As I turn 29, I’m opening a vault — one filled with lessons, heartbreaks, breakthroughs, quiet revelations, and loud reminders. These 29 reflections are what I’ve gathered over the last 28 years. They’re what I’ve come to value the most and the beliefs I stand firm in today.

But this vault isn’t sealed forever. I know I’m not a final version of myself. I’ll learn, unlearn, evolve, and change again in the years ahead. Still, these are the truths that shaped me — and I want to honor them by sharing them.

1. It might sound cliché, but everything truly happens for a reason. It might not make sense in the moment, but what happened a few months ago will often make sense in a few weeks — or even years.
2. Letting go is never easy. Sometimes it’s a receipt from a special date or someone you’ve known forever. But letting go, while painful, is often necessary for growth.
3. Not every battle is worth fighting. Choose wisely — what really matters to you, and what will bring you peace afterward. Some battles only lead to more confusion and grief.
4. Whatever brings you peace is the right choice.
5. A quiet moment with yourself once a week — no phone, no book, just you and your thoughts — is actually a good thing. Sure, it can be uncomfortable, even consuming, but it is what it is.
6. Being uncomfortable is okay. It often means something within or around you needs to change — and that’s something you can work on.
7. Never take anyone — or anything — for granted.
8. Tough love is okay, but the world is already tough enough. What people need is gentle love that’s still firm. It’s not coddling — it’s compassion. Tough love never worked for me anyway!
9. Grief is one of the hardest emotions to process. It doesn’t go away in a year or two; it lingers. Sometimes it makes you feel like you’re being gutted from the inside. But it’s part of life.
10. You learn to live with grief. That’s not easy, but it’s necessary. Because even when your world stops, the rest of the world keeps turning. You don’t have to “move on,” but you do have to move forward.
11. People come and go. Be mindful of who you allow to stay.
12. Not everyone will like you. I learned that early, and I’ve made peace with it. What matters is that you like yourself.
13. It’s okay to be yourself — but make sure you’re not hurting others in the process.
14. It’s okay to be petty sometimes. Just make sure to reflect afterward: Was it valid? Was it fair? Will it cause long-term damage to someone else?
15. Childishness is welcome, too. Be around people who share your sense of wonder and play. Life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time.
16. You can forgive people without forgetting what they did. They may never change, and they may still be capable of hurting you. But forgiveness is lightness in the heart. Just don’t forget — because remembering is how you protect yourself.
17. If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. Learning from others is the best way to grow. That said, improving yourself doesn’t mean changing who you are at your core.
18. My faith — and what I believe in — is deeply personal. It’s between me and God. In moments of conflict, I often ask myself: “What would Jesus do?” Or, later on: “Is that how Jesus would’ve handled it?”
19. The Bible isn’t just a rulebook — it requires deeper understanding. Jesus was an activist. He stood for what He believed in. And what He stood for was love. Not hate. So if you find yourself hating someone for who they are or what they’ve done, that’s not Christ-like.
20. One of the most important things He said is: “Love others as you love yourself.” (Mark 12:31) And honestly, that’s enough to guide anyone into being not just kind — but good.
21. Self-pity is poison. It eats you alive from the inside out and makes everything else — your body, your mind — malfunction. It’s okay to feel, but don’t stay in the mindset that the world is against you. It’s not.
22. Your first real romantic heartbreak? It’s going to hurt more than you imagined. I am not going to elaborate but make sure that you’re surrounded with people who loves you and cares for you.
23. Honesty doesn’t have to sound rude or condescending. Blunt is not equal to rude.
24. You like because and you love despite. But the despite is limited, you love despite unfaithfulness is never on my playbook.
25. Rejection is a redirection. Something better is in store for you. (Side story: I really wanted to get this job back in December of 2023 but I got rejected, they said I wasn’t ready even when I already thought I was. This VA agency rejected me, so in February 2024, I started one with one of my closest friends as a side hustle. I also got a full-time and well-paying job in January 2024, and I’ve been here since!)
26. Take it slow. I know that our society has glamorized the hustle and fast culture but you have to take it slow. Look around you and breathe.
27. Love doesn’t have to be perfect to be real. Whether it’s with your family or friends. Love shows up in many forms — through patience, presence, and even tough conversations.
28. You can grow without losing yourself. It’s possible to change, to evolve, and to become better — without losing your core. I’ve learned that the best kind of growth is the kind shaped by the people you love, without compromising who you truly are.
29. You are never really alone. Even in moments when you feel lost or unsure, there’s always someone in your corner. Whether it’s from your family, a friend, or a memory of someone you’ve lost — love leaves a mark. And those marks are reminders that you are held, seen, and supported more than you know.

This is Version 28 of me, and I’m proud of her. She has loved deeply, let go bravely, stumbled, learned, and kept going. I know more versions of me will come, with new vaults to unlock and new lessons to hold.

To my family and friends, thank you for supporting me and loving me through every chapter of my life. To Baching, Bachoo, and Bachan, thank you for giving me reasons to live. You are my light. And to anyone I may have hurt unintentionally or unknowingly, I am truly sorry.

Here’s to 29. To love, to lessons, and to becoming more of who I’m meant to be.