daughter’s love | parenting

The Anniversary Wish From Our Girl

Children express love in their own unique ways

Photo by George Dolgikh AT pexels

Non members read here.

Last month, we completed 20 years of marriage.

Twenty years. Saying it aloud feels heavier than living it…lol

We didn’t plan anything grand. That is not us. As always, we visited the temple with our parents the evening before to seek blessings and then took the family out to dinner . On the actual day, my husband and I stepped out alone for a few hours — just the two of us. This has been our usual way of celebrating any personal occasions — a day with family, a day with our daughter and a day of just Us two.

It was a busy month socially. Functions, gatherings, obligations. Our anniversary came quietly in between — almost like it didn’t want to disturb anyone.

This time, for the first time our daughter wasn’t home. College events. Practices. Friends. The usual late-teen world that now runs parallel to ours.

She is a normal late teen — mostly happy these days (thankfully), occasionally irritated for reasons that even she cannot properly explain. Talkative and naughty when in a good mood. Dramatic and withdrawn when not.

But one thing she has never been — clingy.

She is a “No hugs please” kind of person.

Even as a child, she wasn’t the one hanging onto our legs. We were always the ones who hugged more, cuddled more, reached out first. She would tolerate it as a toddler, enjoyed it. Dodged it with rolling eyes as a pre-teen. And now, at this age, she gives us a look that clearly says — personal space, please. Just once in a while we would surprise her with a naughty hug and a kiss and that has to be short and I always have to pull her arms to wrap them around myself in those quick moments and she would keep talking to avoid actually feeling what’s happening!!

She isn’t the “Happy anniversary Mom-Papa, I love you so much” type either. No formal posts, or words or speeches.

But she expresses in other ways. She gossips with us. She watches movies with us without being forced. She chooses to step out with us — equally as much she does with her friends, sometimes even over her friends.

She discusses her pal’s problems. She asks us to sit near her when she’s cooking something experimental in the kitchen and is happy to share. She includes us in her growing world.

Small things. Ordinary things. But steady.

For three days around our anniversary, she wasn’t home.

That evening, my husband and I were out for our little celebration. We were talking about the old days, about how different we were at twenty-five thirty. We were also discussing about body aches, rising prices, daughter’s settlement — because that is what twenty years does to romance.

And then my phone buzzed.

It was her.

The message said:

“You two were my valentine since before I even knew of Valentine’s Day. You’ve given me care, love, dreams, and most importantly, freedom. Thank you for giving me the freedom to choose my path, for allowing me to make a mistake even when you know it’s a mistake, for holding the courage to allow me new experiences that you could not have. If I could choose my parents in my next lifetime, I wouldn’t give it another thought. Thank you for making our house a home, a safe space for not only me but also my friends, for being the ‘chill parents’. Happy anniversary 😏”

I read it once. Then again.

Photo by Gary Barnes at pexels

My eyes filled up before I could control them. My husband stared at his phone in complete surprise — that jovial naughty man who rarely reacts emotionally was suddenly simply quiet for the moment. That moment of quietness expressed it loud.

We just sent back a few kisses.

Nothing philosophical. Nothing emotional. Just kisses.

When she returned home late that night, we shared our days with each other. We didn’t mention the message.

We didn’t say, “You made us cry.”

We didn’t hug her extra tight.

We didn’t tease her. We didn’t embarrass her.

Because part of parenting teenagers is knowing when to speak… and when to just hold the moment quietly inside you.

Children surprise us.

They love us in ways that don’t always look like love. Not every child will run into your arms. Not every teenager will say “I love you” loudly.

Some will sit next to you during a movie and steal fries from your plate. Some will call you “chill parents” in front of their friends. Some will share gossip. Some will bring you the half-burnt cookies they tried baking.

Some will tell you about their friend’s heartbreak. Some will text you when you least expect it and will send you a message that quietly tells you — you did okay. And will thank you for the freedom you were scared to give but gave anyway.

As Indian parents, we often walk a tightrope.

Are we too strict? Too lenient? Too protective? Too trusting?

Giving freedom is not easy. Advises never stop. Especially when we can already see the mistake ahead. But sometimes loving them means allowing them to walk into it and just standing nearby without saying “I told you so.” Instead letting them know “I’m here just in case.”

When she thanked us for freedom, that line stayed with me. Maybe that is what she felt most.

Not control. Not pressure. Not fear. But space.

Maybe that is our real job as parents, apart from the nagging trying to raise responsible, successful and caring humans !

To create homes that feel safe enough for them to leave and comfortable enough for them to return. Not to demand affection in the form we understand. But to create a space where they feel safe enough to express it in the form they understand.

Even if it comes without hugs. Even if it comes as a late-night message. Even if they don’t say “I love you” as much as we would want to hear. Even if it comes with a smirking emoji at the end.

And maybe that is enough.

This story is published on **bloody sweet writers — where the new generation of storytellers redefines creativity. Here, words pulse with passion, imagination knows no limits, and bold ideas take flight. Want to share your voice? Join our community and be part of something bloody sweet**! 🚀

[embed]Bloody Sweet Writers — A Publication New Generation, New Blood, New Ideas!medium.com