Are You OK?

Doesn’t hurt to ask!

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

I was in the grocery store today, and the woman ahead of me in line was SUPER nasty to me, and I did not deserve it. But I responded nicely, and she snapped back.

So I decided to try something different.

I looked her in the eye and asked “Are you OK?”.

She melted. She was not OK. The angry look on her face became a look of relief — that another human being, a stranger, recognized her pain.

She was struggling with her groceries and figuring out how she was going to fit them all in the one bag she had (a large plastic garbage bag), then how she was going to be able to carry it all on the bus home. It’s an extremely cold day today, and going grocery shopping is a test of endurance. But having to take the bus? That is next-level difficult.

So no, she was not OK. And goodness knows whatever else she had going on her life.

I offered her one of my larger bags with a handle on it, and she was exceedingly grateful. She was apologetic for being rude to me, and I asked her if I could give her a hug. So right then and there in the checkout line, I gave her a big old hug. We were both teary-eyed.

She continued to thank me, and after paying, we both bagged our groceries together at the counter (it was at ALDI). She asked my name, and she told me hers was Sharon. She said she was going to write about me in her journal tonight.

“Are you OK?”

Those were the last words of Alex Pretti before he was repeatedly shot by an ICE agent. “Are you OK?” is what he asked a woman who was pepper sprayed moments before he was murdered. He was caring for another human being, as he did professionally, as an ICU nurse.

So I think the best thing we can do right now is to be kind. Because people are very much not OK.

Do it to be a good human.

Do it because kindness is contagious.

Do it because we are not OK.

Do it to honor the legacy of Alex Pretti.

Next time you encounter someone who is clearly not having a good day, or in a bad mood, or just downright surly, ask them the question:

Are you OK?

You might just make a huge impact on that person, and it will have a snowball effect. Kindness IS contagious, so spread that shit around wherever you go.

I like to think that Sharon was smiling on that bus ride home, and maybe she brightened someone else’s day by spreading a bit of her own joy.

Do it!