On Being An Amateurish Writer — II

A continuation of my writing journey?

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash

“They talked for a long time, their conversation occasionally interrupted by splotches of everyday tasks but ultimately continuing regardless of the intervals in between. She felt happy, content, her previous concern forgotten, put inside a closed box that read Till Later.

And when that box reopened, her nerves danced under her skin, making her hands quiver. She now intimately understood the desperation of women who begged their men to put rings on their fingers, the ones who were quick to enter marriages for fear of being put under the scrutiny of society, so as not to lose their freshness, a ripeness that must be taken hold of almost instantly.”

This is an excerpt from a short story I wrote a short while ago. It’s called Till Later (working title). This goes to show how much I truly wanted to improve as a writer, it’s a sort of project I assigned myself just to see how far I’d go and so far, I’m happy that I’m actually doing it. It’s one of those things that are very simple, nothing too crazy yet it manages to bring you such joy and satisfaction that is only meant for you but somehow might just radiate to other people.

My worst habit is my reluctance to learn from my mistakes. In fact I often avoid making any altogether. Why do I do that? Because I always think they’ll never be received well, like making a mistake means that I would be mocked or laughed at. And this is a real fear (see gelotophobia). And the next is indulging my distractions, sacrificing knowledge that can only be gotten through gradual practice for constant, mindless, easily forgotten entertainment. I keep telling myself that I’ll eventually be better, “eventually” remaining no more than a possibility.

Another thing is the refusal to adhere to rules because of something I like to call pointless rebellion. It’s when you go against something that’s actually helpful or sensible just because you want to be a contrarian, not necessarily because you have any logical reason to (Check anarchy). So I dodge going through a proper format while I write, thinking I can survive only on going with the flow. But the thing is, there’s multiple elements that come together to make a story worth listening to or an article worth reading. Many writers have shared their own rituals and rules and advice on what and what not to do and more often than not I ignored them, thinking I’d make my own but the truth is, I was leaving my “potential" to rot inside me because if not, I would actively have to follow rules that I wasn’t ready to.

Now though, despite currently being on a brief hiatus, here’s a few guardrails I came up with to help with my writing:

1. There needs to be a sort of balance between exposition and action. Telling the story but also letting it speak for itself.

2. Explaining isn’t enough, giving examples is necessary. Employing figures of speech is a must (for me).

3. Make sure the theme has been properly shown and well-executed

What does that execution look like? Speak on the crux of the matter and make sure you don’t half ass your way through it and unnecessarily beat about the bush.

There’s also the issue of writing for the sake of being more appealing to others. Writing and seeking validation from the approval of others, wanting praise (or criticism) to prove that you’re a force to reckoned with, worth taking seriously. But when you receive nothing but crickets it does something to you, it starts to make you feel like no one wants to listen to you. A friend of mine told me it felt like that with his writing and I was guilty of being one of those who kept putting off reading his stories until I just forgot about them altogether. I felt bad and decided I’d try, for his sake.

So, you try to make your work more generally acceptable, at least something to draw people in and then maybe later you can show them what you really care about. But is that really a good idea? I wouldn’t know. Did I try it? I would’ve if I weren’t so lackadaisical about everything.

This article you are reading feels like one of my old ones, it has that disjointed, incoherent feeling to it where I just jump from point to point, not fully diving into any and trying to move along quickly due to impatience, wanting to finish almost immediately I start so that what I have before me can match my vision. I’ve been talking about delayed gratification over and over so that I can manage to convince myself to want it. Is it working? I guess we’ll find out!

And being an amateurish writer isn’t a terrible thing, following in the steps of people who apply random teachings from Japanese culture, I’d like to mention the concept of the Beginner’s Mind — Shoshin. It generally speaks on the openness of the mind to learn, the desire to start something fresh, with no prior knowledge of it whatsoever.

To my fellow creatives, beginners, writers, artists and thinkers, let us create a world we wouldn’t mind living in as we make use of the gift of being alive [Cue dramatic classical music].

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