Emergency Landing

Today I hit a milestone, and you still haven’t asked

How it went or how I feel. Guess I’m not surprised by that.

You’ll say it slipped your mind- that you just forgot.

Maybe you got so wrapped up in your own thoughts.

— — —

It’s not like I didn’t tell you how important this was,

But just like any other time, you dismissed my experience.

— — —

But why would it matter? It’s just me.

You already know that I will accomplish all my dreams.

You’ll say you care, but what does that mean?

Do you think I feel your silence is meant to support me?

— — —

Why do I have to beg to be a slight consideration in your life?

Even then, you tell me you’ll work on it. An honest man’s lie.

What’s there to work on? No, I’m actually curious.

How do you plan on fixing a moment that has passed?

— — —

You always leave me alone and lonely. Stop acting like you don’t.

You have these imaginative plans to make it up to me, but you won’t.

You’ll decide I’m not mad anymore, then you’ll probably take me on a date.

I’ll keep the peace while you jump rope with that thin line between love and hate.

— — —

You just want to argue my feelings, so go ahead, I’ll wait.

It doesn’t matter what I say, you’ll just play the victim anyways.

Please, I’m dying to hear how I’m the one who puts you down.

Even if I actually berated you, you’d just tune out the sound.

— — —

It seems like I always have to be the bigger man just to get you to be my man.

Have you ever considered that maybe I’m so sick and tired of trying?

— — —

Oh wait. That’s right. You don’t consider anything that is not your own reality.

Me trying? Trying what? There’s nothing wrong with you, so it must be me.

And if it is, then that’s not your problem, and I need to get it together on my own.

How dare I expect you and I to be a team? We’ve come full circle to me being alone.

— — —

If I’m going to be alone, then I will be alone all alone.

What part of that is not clicking? It’s like the lights are on, but there’s no one home.

You think it’s just a small thing that I’ll get over eventually like I’m a guarantee.

Do you not understand how rare I am that there are people who would kill to have me?

— — —

It’s like you think I’m stupid when you recycle apologies.

Do you think at this point “I’m sorry” means anything to me?

You use empty words from movies you’ve never seen.

Is that how you think you’re going to be able to keep me?

— — —

I deserve better than having to defend you by saying, “It’s not all bad.”

But your complete lack of awareness makes me unbelievably sad.

Your disrespect does not have to be intentional for me to feel its burn in my throat.

It won’t get better. You’re just going to excuse it by calling me mean, I already know.

— — —

Aw, poor thing. You think I’m mean? You have not seen mean.

You don’t know what I’m like when I strip down the niceties.

You’ve never felt the iron hot sting that my words can have.

Even now, I grant you the courtesy of kindness. Be grateful for that.

— — —

Be grateful for something, you spoiled little brat.

Your mommy isn’t here to fuel your sense of entitlement.

This is your cue to turn the ugliness on me like you always do when I make you feel like this.

But you’re not even calculated enough to know when you’re being manipulative.

— — —

You misjudge how cruel you push me to be.

You’ll always think that I gave you no warning.

My patience is thinning like the air right before a deadly crash.

Today I hit a milestone, and I don’t trust that you’ll ever ask.