On the Edge of Sanity

I really don’t know what to do

Photo by Anna Wangler on Unsplash

My head feels like it’s about to explode. It is pounding like a sledgehammer smashing against my brain over and over. And everything around me… a mess. A complete disaster — nothing is right, nothing makes sense, everything is falling apart like a puzzle thrown to the ground and stomped on with no intention of ever being put back together.

Damn it. Seriously, this is so screwed up. I’ve tried to be patient, tried to understand, but the more I do, the worse it gets. Why is it always me? Why am I always the one who has to bend, to adjust, to put up with everything?

Maybe it’s time for me to stop being the nice one, the one who always cares, who always puts others before myself. Maybe I need to be a little more ruthless. Enough being the punching bag, enough being the one who understands but is never understood.

Since this already bad, really bad, beyond fixing. Everything’s already wrecked — like a glass dropped from ten stories up, shattered into pieces. No way to put it back together.

I’m so done. I’m exhausted. Completely drained.