Annual Physical: My Doctor Gave Me The Finger — Two Guys Who Blog

The annual physical is something men skip religiously each and every year. Men are taught to be rugged individuals without fear, but we can be real wimps when it comes right down it. Let’s face it guys, we can barely get through a cold without being down on the couch for an entire day complaining. Our counterparts (women, wives, spouses) shake their heads at us as their days continue no matter what malady has been thrown at them. “Bronchitis — great now I’ll have to go to Back To School night hacking on everyone”. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Why we avoid it

When it comes to the annual physical we’re no different. Avoiding the annual physical is mostly rooted in the fear of hearing something you don’t want to. The best way to avoid hearing bad news is to not look for it, right? It’s similar to turning up the radio in your car so you don’t hear your squeaking brakes. This is a terrible idea, on both fronts because you can be doing more damage than good for your brakes and your health. We also blame it on being busy. “I just don’t have the time to sit in the doctor’s office and wait”. You will, however, sit at your mechanic for two hours without complaint to get your car tuned up. If you boarded a plane and the pilot announced that the plane hadn’t had a checkup in a year would you feel confident flying or would you run?

Why you shouldn’t skip an annual physical

Your annual physical is the chance to get an analysis of your health and set your benchmark. The annual physical only works if you’re honest with your doctor. It is imperative that you review any and all issues you’ve been having regardless of how minor you think it is or how embarrassed you are. A physician has heard it all, you will not shock them. Not being forthcoming with symptoms can be life-threatening. Not mentioning chest pain you’ve had can be the warning sign you needed to discuss to prevent a heart attack. A heart attack most likely caused by symptoms detected through cholesterol testing or an EKG (electrocardiogram).

What to expect

I’ve been getting physicals since I was in my 20’s so I feel comfortable telling you what to expect. At the time of writing this article I’m 50 which is WAY different in the physical department than 20 — we’ll get to that. My reasoning for physicals was because one side of my family is a mess healthwise. Dad’s side pretty much has a lock on heart issues so I’d like to avoid that if at all possible.

So here’s what you can expect at your physical.

Family History

If it’s your first time the doctor will want to know your family history. Have there been any health issues in your family? The doctor will also ask you general questions like do you smoke, drink alcohol, use drugs, sexual health (don’t be an idiot with this question — I know you’re tempted to but don’t) diet, exercise and some other questions. Lying during any of this “interview” will not help you. If you drink, let the doctor know. If you recreationally smoke a joint every now and again let the doctor know. Again, they have heard it ALL before.

Vitals

The following vital signs will be taken:

Heart Rate: A normal rate is between 60 and 100 beats a minute. The nurse will usually take your heart rate by holding your wrist and counting for 30 seconds. Simple but effective.

Blood Pressure: 120 over 80 is normal blood pressure and anything over 130 is high blood pressure or hypertension.

Temperature: Normal body temperature is 98.6 but it’s not uncommon to have slightly higher or lower if you’re healthy. Mine in 99.1 always. My doctor said I have a bad thermostat.

Breathing rate: 12–16 breaths per minute is normal. More than that could mean heart or lung issues.

General Appearance — though not a vital sign per se the doctor will look at you to see if you appear pale, do you have issues standing and moving, items like that.

Heart

Electrocardiogram — this machine detects if you have any abnormalities or irregular heartbeats. It is a very simple test that takes about 5 minutes or less. Small “tabs” adhere to your skin in different places with wires that measure your heartbeat. You feel nothing other than the tabs being pulled off when they are done. The results are immediate as well.

Stethoscope — The doctor will listen to your heart with a stethoscope for any irregularities. Simple and painless.

Lungs

Stethoscope — The doctor will listen to your breathing in several areas in front and on your back. They are looking for any wheezing, cracking sounds or abnormalities.

Head and Neck

Open up and say ah… for a peek inside your mouth and throat. The doctor will also check your ears, eyes, and nose. You will also have your lymph nodes checked by feeling your neck.

Abdomen

The doctor will have you lay back and then tap on your abdomen to get a gauge of the size of your liver while also listening via stethoscope for sounds in your stomach. This is where those ab exercises pay off. My doctor commented on strong stomach muscles, covered by a layer of thin fat. Ummm thanks, Doc?!

Skin check

You may have a quick skin check done just to look for anything out of the ordinary that would detect skin cancer. My doctor doesn’t really do this anymore because he knows I see a dermatologist.

Bloodwork

The doctor will provide you a prescription to have blood work done. This bloodwork is typically used to test cholesterol, thyroid levels, blood cell counts, blood sugar levels and host of other things that I won’t bore you with. Just get your bloodwork done. It takes no time at all to do in an outside lab.

And now the not so good stuff…

If you’re a man approaching 50 or sometimes even 40 there are a few tests that are NECESSARY and non-negotiable. Some of these tests are done in the office and one will have to be done by a gastroenterologist.

Testicular Exam

It’s important to do your own self-evaluation on a regular basis (I am fully expecting an onslaught of jokes in your minds with this sentence) but your doctor may also perform one in office.

Colonoscopy

A Gastroenterologist will perform this test. There are many horror stories about colonoscopies but I am here to tell you it really is not a big deal. I had one about 5 years ago and I’m due again now that I hit the 50-year-old mark (usually the benchmark for your first one). The worst part of the whole process for me is not being able to eat solid food for 24 hours and drinking the evil concoction that causes you to empty your bowels nonstop for 24 hours. The test itself was fine, I was knocked out, I woke up and it was done. I beg of you to get this test done. Most avoid it from fear of all the stories they have heard. It is not a big deal and well worth avoiding colon cancer.

The Prostate exam

Well, gentleman, this is where your doctor literally gives you “the finger”, where you wouldn’t expect it. I won’t go into the gory details but my primary care doctor says he enjoys performing this test even LESS than we like receiving it. It is important to have the test performed to detect early signs of prostate cancer. The doctor is feeling the prostate for hard lumpy or abnormal areas. He may even crack a joke about losing his wedding ring in there to break the tension and uncomfortableness. It only takes a minute or so to complete and worth the discomfort.

Don’t fear your annual physical but instead use it as an overall gauge for your health and as a benchmark for the year. This list of what to expect may not be everything but it is fairly typical as to what I have done each and every year.

For more on what you should be having checked at each stage in your life visit **Men’s Journal**.

Comment below and share with a friend, maybe someone who has been avoiding the doctor.

Best

SD

Originally published at https://twoguyswhoblog.com on April 19, 2019.