A wife gets frisky with the wrong husband

She can blame her fondness for dumplings

Carol T. of Seattle, Wash. has often wondered if her husband Joe and his best friend Karl are brothers who were somehow separated at birth. Of course, most of us have the same suspicion about Ted Cruz and Grandpa Munster.

I’ve heard the Honorable Mr. Cruz hates garlic too. Coincidence?

But Carol claims that Joe’s resemblance to his pal is very real. So real, in fact, that it got Carol into a bit of hot water when she and Joe stayed the night at the home of Karl and his wife Anna. Only Karl was tickled over the incident — and I mean that literally.

Delicious balls of dough

After one of Anna’s scrumptious chicken and dumpling dinners, the four friends chatted in the living room for a spell, then retired for the evening. “I’m convinced that Anna’s special recipe for dumplings contains an aphrodisiac,” says Carol. “Sure, these little gravy-soaked dough chunks are unlikely love tools, but it’s no stranger than balding men shaving their heads and thinking they look like Jason Statham.”

Carol and Joe undressed for bed in the guest room, where Carol subtly hinted that she was in the mood for love. “Those dumplings were delicious,” Carol cooed while nuzzling up to Joe.

“Yup,” agreed a clueless Joe, patting his middle-aged belly. “Some of the best she’s ever cooked up.”

Then, without even a wink, Joe announced he was going to take a quick shower before bed. He gathered his towel, toothbrush and dumpling-filled belly and headed down the hallway. “Apparently, the dumplings didn’t have the same effect on him,” recalls Carol. “The only bodily function they promoted in him would occur while he was sitting down on a porcelain chair.”

A testy moment

Carol sat in silence. After a short while, she heard the bath water running — but not the shower. “For some reason, I got the desperate idea that his disinterest a moment earlier was just a ruse to throw off our hosts and that he was drawing up an intimate bubble bath for us.”

Carol waited five more minutes, then tiptoed down the hall to the bathroom. She quietly opened the door and crept in. There he stood, buck-naked, bent over with his back to Carol as he adjusted the tub faucet knobs. “This was my cue,” says Carol.

Carol delicately reached between his legs and tickled the majestically suspended appendage. “How are my little dumplings?” She asked.

They were shrieks heard down the block, no doubt. “First his, then mine, as the object of my advances turned around to reveal he was Karl, not Joe,” explains Carol.

Talk about your testy moments.

The same silly grin

It turns out that Karl resembled Joe in ways Carol had not imagined. She did an about-face and made a run for it, leaving Karl to clutch frantically for a towel.

Carol ran into an alarmed Joe in the hallway. “He told me the bathroom upstairs had been occupied, so he went downstairs for milk and cookies,” says Carol. “A fine time to tell me.”

The next morning, Carol continued to marvel at the uncanny resemblance. “They both had the same silly grin on their mugs too,” says Carol.