Answer me this

Quizzes, EQ, and the Myth of Instant Self-Discovery

Now, you might be wondering: Is she really going to write Every Single Day? Well, she’s certainly going to try! Honestly, I don’t know what I’ll write about, but it’ll likely be whatever has caught my interest.

Today’s topic comes courtesy of my friend Sandra, who’s in university. She recently mentioned that her business school made everyone take an EQ (Emotional Quotient) test — and she scored the highest in the class, close to perfect!

This moment stuck with me for so many reasons. Let’s break it down.

First, why on earth is a business school making students take EQ tests? I initially thought they might use these results to suggest that business requires logic over emotion. But no, Sandra’s high EQ was celebrated, held up as a valuable trait. Now, don’t get me wrong; having a high EQ is great in life, but in business school? I’m not so sure why it’s such a focus.

Second — and here’s the kicker — Sandra is not exactly who I’d think of when it comes to high emotional intelligence. EQ, or emotional quotient, is defined as the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Sandra struggles with managing her own emotions. She’s one of the most chaotic, reactive people I know — in work, in her personal life, in everything. It’s hard to believe she’d score higher than a room with 100 other people.

And as for understanding and managing others’ emotions? She tries, and she’s kind, but she’s definitely not as perceptive as she believes. I’ve seen how she treats the people closest to her, and frankly, it’s not the kindest. (Let’s just say I’ve learned to stay in the “distant friend” category the hard way.)

Now, you might think I’m being harsh, but these are just facts from years of knowing her. Which leads me to my real questions for today: How accurate are these quizzes anyway? Should they be used for drawing important conclusions?

It’s one thing to take a quiz for fun — like a BuzzFeed “Which Bridgerton Man is Your Soulmate?” quiz. But lately, these kinds of quizzes are becoming a Big Deal in two concerning ways:

1. Companies are using them to make hiring decisions. In the hiring world, these tests claim to reveal traits like “team player” or even weirder things like how your favorite color correlates with your personality. The issue is that many of these quizzes have a specific “right” answer. People who know how to answer get rewarded, even if their answers don’t reflect reality. For example, if I were in a job interview and was asked, “Do you prefer working hard or hanging out with friends?” I’d definitely say working hard — even if my true answer is far from it. The outcome? People who can read between the lines do better, and others who are honest may end up penalized.

2. People treat quiz results as gospel. I have a friend who’s decided he has ADHD after taking an online quiz. Another friend swears by the MBTI personality test to determine compatibility with potential partners, convinced she’ll only date someone with the “right” type. And I get it — sometimes it’s fun, but try saying that to the poor chap who got his heartbroken because he’s not an ENTP.

In the end, these quizzes can offer a starting point for self-reflection, but it’s important to remember they’re not definitive. They’re often just reflections of what you think about yourself, not necessarily the objective truth.

I think we’re drawn to these quizzes because they offer quick answers in a world that feels complicated. As *Anaïs Nin once said- “*We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” This gives us that sense that quiz results often reflect our own perceptions, rather than any absolute truth. But true self-awareness takes time, introspection, and real-life experiences.

So what I’m trying to say is, approach these quizzes with caution. Question their results, and don’t make important life decisions based on them. If you’re exploring something serious, seek guidance from the right professionals. And definitely don’t choose your partner based on their MBTI type!

That’s just my advice- take it or leave it.

Until next time❤