Are Noah Kahan and I.. The Same Person?

Both of us hometown heros, rural escapees, and visceral feeling feelers, it’s strange how you never see us in the same room simultaneously.

Kahan is melancholy and sonder, but with a touch of backtracking and banjos. His songs have been narrating my memory albums for almost a decade. AND IF I had the guts to outwardly wish a natural disaster on my county’s airport, I would have years ago (Staying Still). He’s gutsy and certainly an artist from birth. My favorite part of Kahan’s music is when I try to make Mad Libs out of it.

When I hear Staying still I sing:

And I hope *‘Insert San Bernardino landmark ’* gets crumbled and hit with a ‘Level 8 earth quake’

This is a guy who knows how to harbor a grudge. A real good ethical grudge at that. This is what mean — I would get along real well with Kahan. He is rooting for an unnamed individual’s downfall, and I agree with him (Downfall). Some folks do not deserve our grace. I know myself, and it takes an awful lot of awfulness to have me praying for your downfall. But alas, there are a handful of grudges I hold firm, trapped in amber around my neck, and, hell, let’s add a dead scorpion too (Kahan would love that). You see, it’s this deep seated grudge against random ass people and a random-ass town that no one has ever heard of, placing Kahan and I in harmony. DAMN Newberry Springs and DAMN that town he’s from (I don’t remember I’ve never heard of it).

Noah Kahan’s music is known for the heavy descriptions of his childhood, hometown, and past relationships. It is clear that Noah holds onto memories deeply. Something that I too am guilty of, we harbor everything (great & lousy). Importantly, he seems to personify this town, this town is more than a place. He sees places as omens, as something bigger than they truly are. I agree. Sometimes places act as sponges and with time we no longer have any use for them.

One of the most pivotal lyrics, the line that inspired me to comment on Kahan’s music comes from his second album. I was/ I am is not the album that landed his key to fame, but trust I was bumping it. His track Howling does something, I see, as cathartic. He sings openly about his longtime battle with depression, he objectifies it. The big black dog that follows him around. Through music he’s asking “do you see it to?” When he asks, “is there something keeping me here for the minute darling (Howling)?” I must admit, some minutes it has been his music.

A wishing for more than what your family has put up with. A hunger to break generational trauma, but the fear that you too are destined for suffering. “Spend the rest of my life with what could have been (Homesick).” This aching over the dichotomy of who you were and who you could be. It is all raw and real feelings that should be vocalized more often. Kahan has helped give a voice to my internal warfare over my past. Kahan has proved that art, in any way, is and will be transformative.

One of my anchors for maintaining sobriety was knowing how hard I was going to scream, “and I havn’t drank in six months. On the dot (Orange Juice).” And yes… I did.