WAWW: Vol. 1.5 KOREA

My Reflections

I just got back from Korea, and I’ve been sitting with the experience for a few weeks trying to figure out what actually stuck with me.

Not the tourist attractions. Not the pictures. Not the things that looked good on social media.

The real stuff.

The things I noticed about myself. The things I realized I had been ignoring. The habits that followed me home. And the parts of Korea that made me look at my own life a little differently.

I Had Been Living in My Own Bubble

I’ve always known I hate public speaking, but Korea made me realize there might be more behind it than just being uncomfortable in front of people.

One of the first times I really noticed it was when I had to introduce myself to a group of people I barely knew. It wasn’t anything complicated, but I felt myself tightening up.

I’m a very to-myself person when I don’t know you. I can be self-absorbed in the sense that I spend a lot of time inside my own head, focused on my own world. I’ve always had a close circle, and growing up, if you weren’t part of that circle, you were basically an outsider.

That environment shaped me.

Back home, I’m known. I know the people around me, and they know me. I don’t have to explain myself as much. I can be verbally open because I’m comfortable.

Korea took all of that away.

I was surrounded by people who didn’t know me, and I had no reputation or history to fall back on. I actually had to open myself up.

And something interesting happened.

The more I got to know people, the better I became at speaking. By the end, something that had felt uncomfortable in the beginning became much easier.

It made me realize that maybe I don’t have a public-speaking problem as much as I have a stranger problem.

Maybe I’ve gotten too comfortable only being open around people I already know.

I Forgot What Peace Felt Like

I visited three temples while I was in Korea, but Jogyesa was the one that stayed with me.

Every Saturday, I would go sit there for a while.

There was something about the atmosphere that I still have trouble putting into words. Everything felt slower. Quieter. Still.

And for whatever reason, I felt a level of peace that I honestly don’t think I’ve experienced before.

It wasn’t that my responsibilities disappeared.

My problems didn’t disappear.

My goals didn’t disappear.

But for a little while, none of that mattered.

I think that’s what I needed to learn.

I’m always thinking about what’s next. What needs to get done. What I’m building. What I need to accomplish. How much further I have to go.

Korea reminded me that there is a difference between working toward a better life and actually experiencing the life you’re working so hard to build.

Life is hard. Responsibilities are real. There are things that have to get done.

But sometimes you have to loosen your grip.

Sit down.

Breathe.

Look around.

And actually receive the moment you’re in.

My Ambition Has Made Me Antisocial

A lot of my life right now revolves around chasing something.

I want to become wealthy. I want to build a legacy. I want to create something my family can be proud of.

And I’m willing to sacrifice for that.

But sacrifice can become dangerous when you stop noticing what you’re sacrificing.

I’ve become so focused on myself, my goals, my dreams and what I need to accomplish that I’ve slowly built a bubble around myself.

Korea exposed that.

I went from spending most of my time in my own world to constantly being around other people. I had to communicate. I had to socialize. I had to come out of my shell.

And honestly?

I needed it.

I needed to see how deep into my own bubble I had gotten.

Because the funny thing about chasing something is that sometimes you become so obsessed with catching it that you don’t realize you’re the one running away from everything else.

My goals aren’t the problem.

The problem would be reaching them and realizing I forgot how to live along the way.

Korea Turned Every Day Into Leg Day

I walked everywhere.

Hills. Stairs. More hills. More stairs.

There were days I was going up and down roughly 80 steps one to three times a day, sometimes in humidity that made everything feel twice as difficult.

The first few days, my body hated me.

Then around day five, something changed.

I started enjoying it.

Especially when I saw women in their sixties, seventies and beyond walking those same hills like it was nothing.

Who was I to complain?

Back home, before Korea, I barely walked anywhere. I drove almost everywhere.

Now that I’m back, I’ve been trying to get 10,000 steps whenever work allows me to.

I didn’t expect that to be one of the habits I brought home with me.

Sometimes the biggest changes from traveling aren’t the things you buy.

They’re the things you start doing differently when you return.

I Could Actually Live Here

Toward the end of the trip, I started asking myself a question I wasn’t expecting:

Could I actually live here?

And the answer surprised me.

Yes.

I’m a city person.

I learned that about myself in Korea.

I like being near subways. I like being surrounded by buildings, stores and people. I like having somewhere to go without having to get in a car first.

Being surrounded by people actually makes me feel more social.

If I had to choose somewhere in Seoul, Itaewon would probably be my spot.

I’m not saying I’m ready to pack everything up and move across the world. I still have things I need to accomplish and dreams I want to fulfill first.

But I’m open to the idea.

The biggest things I’d miss about home wouldn’t be the physical place itself.

It would be the diversity.

My family.

My friends.

The people who wouldn’t be coming with me.

That’s what makes leaving somewhere permanently different from simply visiting it.

I Learned Something Weird About Myself

There was another thing I noticed in Korea that I had never really paid attention to before.

Heat and sweat make me want space.

After walking around in hot weather, getting sweaty and then being packed closely together with everyone else, there were moments when I would just ball myself up and pull away.

I didn’t want anybody close to me.

At first I thought it was just the crowds or the situation.

Then I realized I do the same thing at home.

Even with my lady.

If I’m hot and sweaty, I don’t want somebody laying on top of me or right up against me.

It’s probably something I’ve always done, but Korea was the first time I really noticed it.

Travel has a funny way of making you observe yourself because your normal routines aren’t there to distract you.

Okay… I Really Am Claustrophobic

I had a feeling about this one already.

I noticed it a little in Rome when I went down into the catacombs. I felt it, but I fought through it.

Korea confirmed it.

When I went down into the tunnels at the DMZ, the deeper I went, the worse it became.

It started feeling harder to breathe.

Then came the panic.

Eventually, I turned around and went back out.

That’s when I realized this isn’t just me not liking small spaces.

It’s caves.

Tunnels.

Deep basements.

Anything underground where I feel like there isn’t an easy way out.

When it hits, my brain doesn’t want to negotiate.

It’s fight or flight.

And apparently, mine chooses flight when the walls are underground.

Respecting Your Elders Isn’t Just a Saying

I was raised to respect my elders.

That was already part of who I was.

But I didn’t realize how deeply that value was built into Korean culture until I experienced it myself.

There are dedicated places for older people. There are expectations around who starts eating first. The eldest person is given a level of respect that isn’t treated like some optional courtesy.

I really admired that.

Back home, respecting your elders can feel like something you either choose to do or don’t.

In Korea, I saw those same values reflected throughout the culture.

It didn’t change how I carry myself because I was already raised that way.

But it did make me realize something:

Some of the morals I was raised with aren’t just personal values. Somewhere across the world, they’re part of an entire culture.

That was beautiful to see.

I Knew I Was Going to Miss It

Toward the end of the trip, when everyone started preparing to leave, I could feel it happening.

I was already missing Korea before I had even left.

The people.

The routine.

The food.

The environment.

Even some of the people I had complicated feelings about.

That’s when I realized I wasn’t just going to miss a place.

I was going to miss the experience of actually living somewhere different.

For a while, I wasn’t just visiting another country.

I was experiencing another way of life.

Different people.

Different customs.

Different food.

Different rhythms.

And somewhere in all of that, I got to see myself differently too.

That’s probably the biggest thing Korea taught me.

Travel doesn’t always change who you are.

Sometimes it just removes enough of your normal life for you to finally see who you’ve been becoming.

I came home with more than memories.

I came home realizing I need to get out of my bubble.

I need to slow down sometimes.

I need to keep chasing my goals without letting them consume me.

I need to move more.

I need to be around people.

I need to embrace peace when I find it.

And maybe, one day, I might even be crazy enough to live in Seoul.

But for now, I’m home.

And I don’t think I’m exactly the same person who left.