Swag Saturday/Summer Doldrums

This weekend in dashing

photo by author

In its never-ending quest to paste their logo and name in front of the entire world, DoorDash is once again giving away swag (all of which of course carries the company name) to its army of delivery people in New York City. And as my friend Juni would say, “If it’s free, it’s for me.” So I went and got my free stuff.

This year’s treasure trove lacked last year’s t-shirt, bag of pretzels, and baseball cap (bummer). In its stead came a helmet cover (which could double as a shower cap), a premium pizza bag (sorry, DoorDash, I don’t deliver pizzas), and a combination headlight/horn along with a giant box bag I never use for deliveries but alternatively, serves as an excellent piece of luggage I can carry on my back.

photo by author (Who needs a free DoorDash bag? What am I gonna do with all these?)

In all, the swag bag boasted no fewer than 7 freebees the best of which (at least for me) was the combo horn and headlight. What a piece of remarkable tech.

This little mother fucker features 6 different horn sounds — all incredibly loud and obnoxious — as well as a bright light with which I can see potholes (of which there is no shortage in the Big Apple) in the dead of night.

photo by author

All this crap retails for way over $100 on their website so score one for dashers everywhere.

In the meantime, the predictable summer doldrums have arrived what with the moneyed NYC gentry away for the weekends (and not ordering), and the army of delivery people all trying to get on the app so they can earn a buck.

While all my metrics are currently significantly above the threshold required for me to get my weekly platinum bonus, that won’t last forever. Alas, completing 200 deliveries in the previous 30 days will become increasingly difficult given that it’s so hard to get on the app and go to work. It’s only a matter of time.

However it goes, I’ll be fine. That’s the reality of a lifetime saver. May my immigrant colleagues succeed in making a living in the summer doldrums. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about all that.

P.S. I placed the horn/headlight on my handlebars and it was stolen on my first stop. “Start spreading the news.”