How Donald Ruined My Celebration

Imagine looking forward to a wonderful event for a decade, only to have someone spoil it in just a few tweets

Image created by Halflink using ChatGPT.

I’m not a military enthusiast who frequents tank shows, takes his weapon into the shower, or insists his wife wears his dog tags — well, that’s only on Sundays and public holidays, of course. I do, however, enjoy historical military technology, never say no to a podcast featuring Ivo Zelinka, and have always had respect for soldiers — both the ones today and those who risked their lives for our future eighty years ago. Naturally, I have a soft spot for the Western Allies, slightly influenced by the fate of territories liberated by the Eastern ones, including their subsequent “friendly” returns.

My positive image of the U.S. Army was undoubtedly shaped by classics like MAS*H or later Band of Brothers. If I ever owned a veteran vehicle — which, for me, would mean saving up enough not only for the car but also for a mechanic’s salary — it would undoubtedly be a Jeep Willys. This positive vibe stuck with me over the years. I’ve experienced a handful of U.S. presidents, some I’ve viewed positively, others less so. Recent military deployments have left me somewhat ambivalent, but even through missteps, I’ve often seen functioning media, courts, and state institutions. The cradle of democracy. The only thing that has faded with time is my idealized vision of life in the States. I often remember that when checking how much my health insurance covered my treatments. Recently, I had a minor injury, called the hospital, and after a quick consultation, got treated. The most expensive part? A few drops for 300 crowns. In the U.S., I’d probably wait three days, hoping it gets better on its own, and then spend at least what my entire vacation cost here. Yet, none of that diminished the shine of the words “U.S. Army” for me.

For about ten years, every May, I’d watch news about the liberation celebrations in Pilsen, thinking I’d like to attend one day. This year, while casually planning long weekends, I stumbled upon a free hotel in Pilsen, a rare stroke of luck. My wife was convinced after I promised we wouldn’t need costumes — and fortunately, she didn’t mention uniforms — and my dream began to materialize.

And then it happened. Deleting photos of the Enola Gay bomber because they contained an inappropriate keyword. Introducing tariffs generated by random number generators. Odd days spent threatening allies and cozying up to villains; even days spent in silence (but still cozying up to villains). Ignoring court rulings, threatening invasions of neighbors and penguins — the animals really got a double hit when separate tariffs were imposed on an uninhabited island. It almost seems that this wild ride has just one aim — to exhaust us, much like we grew tired of daily COVID infection counts or casualties in Ukraine. Such fatigue doesn’t lead most people to focus on crucial news but instead to completely ignore the issue.

How can one person ruin an image carefully built over decades as the coolest country in the world? I’ve got three weeks to convince myself that the good old Willys Jeep isn’t responsible for the current situation, so I can genuinely enjoy my trip to Pilsen. I’m still uncertain whether it will be possible without cutting myself off from the world entirely. But as a famous quote from Band of Brothers reminds us: “We salute the rank, not the man.” I’ll try to keep that in mind along the way.