Happy Fathers Day…

Happy Fathers Day…

Ugghh, What does it feels like having a father? A man that you can call your father….? A perfect family.

Ever since I was born I never got the chance to meet my father neither have a glimpse of him. But thats alright because my best mother never made me feel alone and have the feeling of FOMO in my classmates at school for not having one.

But I sometimes had a thought. “Paano kaya siya nakakatulog ng hindi nakokonsensya” “Naiisip niya rin ba ako kahit paminsan lang?”. Dang it, my father would be the first fucking reason why I cant trust men.

I am forever jelouse of the word “daddys girl” :(

When I say “Hes dead in my mind” everybody reacted so bad to me but no one knows the whole story so I became the shitty daughter. I would honestly hope I never find a man like my father.

Sometimes on a random night I just overthink it alot, “paano kaya kung andito parin siya? At may papa ako ngayon?”. Mixed thoughts always hits me. I even find myself cryin over this shit, but honestly everytime I cry I think about how my mother handled it, how she handled me alone just her and me, dang thats a real independet there, but I know deep inside my moms sweet smile theres always a broken crusted one in the other side. Just look at how brave my best mom handled it 🥹

Thats it for now, brb crying…