SPLC Caught Being a Poverty Franchise

Unlike SPLC donors, I don’t support the Klan. It’s just one of those brave stances I’m willing to take. There’s good and bad news for the besieged alleged hate tracker: they found racists. The fact they themselves are the culprits shouldn’t detract from their stellar work identifying the source of hate. Sure, it was them. But worrying about distinguishing the source and victim of trouble seems like one of those hurtful tasks for icky conservatives obsessed with personal responsibility.

The Southern Poverty Law Center getting indicted on wire fraud will make them poor. Centering on lawlessness means their demented business model went south. Their name is finally accurate.

The SPLC finally getting nabbed was a rough day for Wikipedia. Oh, and it probably wasn’t super for the group, either. But citing mendacious partisans as defenders of just truth is the broader cause the besieged group embodied. The allegedly impartial online encyclopedia now has to wonder who it will cite for distorted takes to smear anyone with the nerve to vote Republican.

Pretending their pet biased sources are objective is a persistent habit. What else will they do: tell the truth? I can’t make myself feel sorry for the editor who had to remove SPLC citations from 12 billion articles.

Sticking to shilling was an inadvertent gift the indictment provided. Legal issues for the law center doubled as a chance for the media to show they’re adhering to their prejudices. Alleged purveyors of truth are not going to let something trifling like trouble with the Justice Department deter them from their editorial mission of fibbing on behalf of leftism.

The sources failed to surprise at each level. There was CNN noting the SPLC discontinued their habit of paying bad people to snitch about the others. Why would they stop if there was nothing wrong with gleaning crucial information? On a related note, O.J. Simpson discontinued murdering people after that one day.

As for even more disposable journalism, USA Today indulged the SPLC’s roleplaying by noting federal agents do the same. Real law enforcement should issue them junior detective badges instead of treating them like troublemakers.

A race-based gang’s claims are surely valid if they must pay others to confirm them. Alleged informants totally weren’t making a living off sanctimonious rich liberals making a show of fighting what they presume to be right-wing meanness. Tell your Tinder match you’re also into astrology because that’s surely not just saying what you think she hopes to hear. The loudest pleader made up examples to pretend their ideology was true. It’s only natural that Democrats admire them.

Their shelves were empty. The SPLC identified a problem that didn’t exist and suckered donors into funding the false creation of it to continue profiting off the fake fight. It’s no wonder they hate free markets. Leftists presume all companies are as shady. Peddlers of goods surely manufacture demand then tick suckers with clever advertising. Their nefarious business model also serves as an inadvertent confession that they’re easily duped and disturbingly calculating.

Doesn’t the Justice Department care about the tiki torch industry? It’s like they want to incinerate the economy. The Patriot Sunglasses Front waits until dark to take in shipments from the steps. Maybe SPLC donations didn’t prop up racist eagle’s nests. I’m sure money isn’t fungible. The hate outlet got demonetized before Twitter.

There’s good news in their mission to rid America of ethnic-based enmity. America is down one criminal organization and features way less organized racism. Of course, the welcome result resulted in the biggest phonies no longer causing what they claimed to opposes. We could let them pretend it was their efforts to quash complexion-based animosity that did the trick. Also, bank robbers just want to highlight security flaws.

Instead, the SPLC served as the worst example of what it allegedly condemned. Members will have to call conservatives Nazi fiends in their personal time. The ensuing victims of disgustingly branding anyone as a bigot for the offense of not herding individuals into groups is not quite the legacy they sought. Any party celebrating the demise of ironic racists should be catered by Chick-fil-A.

Unlike their fictional uncovering of prejudice, the SPLC created a crazy true story. Demonizing anyone to Hoxha’s right as a seething racist when they were bailing out dying supremacist groups all along sounds like it’s scripted. It was indeed written by the SPLC. People that lacking in creativity bungled the ending.

They were the true racists in multiple ways. The fact accusers committed offenses is a twist worthy of at least three episodes in the next season of Law & Order. Indicting the SPLC fulfills their mission of closing down hate groups. I suppose they succeeded.