Why does my co-worker hate me?

And How to Handle the Situation

Photo by Jessica Da Rosa on Unsplash

It’s not like you have a choice. You are forced to work with this person. He/she is not your boss. You are peers. So why the hate? And what can you do to ease tensions?

It’s Them not You

When your colleague clearly shows utter hatred towards you and you can not think of one single thing you did wrong…in fact you barely know this person….there is only one answer: jealousy.

From the moment you met this co-worker, he/she barely acknowledged your existence…maybe gave you an icy stare and then went on about their day, leaving you to wonder what on earth just happened?

Envy/jealousy/intimidation just happened. Whether it is your vitality, energy, charisma, smarts, looks, this person is clearly envious of your very being. And they feel threatened by you.

How can anyone be intimidated by me?

You would be surprised. If someone is insecure, anyone new is a threat. Maybe you work so hard you make them look bad. Maybe there was some rumor that you were supposed to replace them, or he got it in his head that you were there to take over his job.

Valid or not, nothing you can say or do will likely change their mind about you. So, kill him with kindness…to a point. Keep your interactions friendly but brief. Big smile, and then hi and bye. Unless you are working on a project together, no need to engage in a conversation at all.

Talk to this person only about work-related matters, nothing else. Don’t ever share any personal information. Because he could use the information as ammunition against you in the gossip arena.

Always be “busy” when you encounter this person. You are on your way somewhere to do something, always.

The key here is to avoid, avoid, avoid in a polite way. No need to be your warm and friendly self around this person. Treat him like a client you don’t like very much but you need to act at least friendly; in a cool manner.

Polite and formal is another way to look at the attitude you should present toward this co-worker. Let your hair down among friends who really care about you, not him, and probably not anyone at work, unless you are positive the person is trustworthy.