Four Things They Don’t Tell You About Being the Youngest

“She is the youngest. She doesn’t have to worry about anything.”

“He’s the baby of the family. He gets everything he wants.”

Or my personal favorite: “She is spoiled.”

I get that last one a lot. Not only am I the baby, but I’m also one of only two Gen Z siblings in my family lineup.

Now, I am not saying that I didn’t have everything I needed. But sometimes I wish it didn’t automatically mean I was spoiled. Growing up, we lived in a run-down duplex. But I didn’t notice — or maybe I just didn’t care. I rode my bike down the alley to the sketchy park, enjoyed walking to my sister’s house just a few blocks away, and was perfectly fine watching PBS Kids since we didn’t have cable. Despite all of that, I still get those comments. Even from my own siblings. I used to brush the comments off. But as I get closer to twenty-three, they aren’t as easy to ignore.

Why am I writing this? So younger siblings, like me, know they are not alone. But also so the older siblings don’t just see their baby sister or brother as a spoiled kid who knows nothing of the world.

1. You Might Think We’re Sanguine. We’re Not.

Being the youngest, I always felt I had to be the “easy and happy” kid, no matter the circumstance. Now, in some ways I did end up being that child. But it didn’t always come easily. Sometimes we want to be able to show our emotions without being labeled pessimistic. Without being overlooked. I didn’t know how to tell my family how I was feeling when I was a child so I just threw as many tantrums as possible.

2. “Spoiled” Because Our Parents Were Done Parenting.

This is not to dog on our parents — I’m just stating the facts. In my case I can understand. My mom was forty-two when I was born and my dad forty-four. They were tired. I don’t blame them for that. Every parent deserves some time to themselves. The only reason I had a DS and a portable DVD player at eight years old was to keep me entertained.

3. We Remember More Than You Think.

It is easy to assume that the youngest is kept away from the family issues. Maybe that’s what parents and older siblings try to do — to keep the youngest at ease. While that is a noble thing to do, it doesn’t always work. I remember more of the traumatic things from my childhood than they think. I remember my sister sitting in a hospital bed, her funeral, the custody battle for my nephew — all of it. Even at only nine years old. Everyone thinks I am in blissful ignorance. I am not.

4. We Want to Be Involved

While it can be hard to envision your younger sibling taking part in family decisions, remember that they are also adults. Being seen as a child even in adulthood can put a strain on your relationships — whether that’s between a parent and child or between older and younger siblings. Sometimes I feel like I am not heard in those conversations —even some that just feel mundane. And sometimes, all the youngest sibling wants is to be part of them.