Just Shut Up — Silenced by A**holes in Masks of False Benevolence

Don’t Give Up on Facebook

“Just stop.”

She said it to my face.

I tried to explain my fear and uncertainty.

She met my tears with a blank stare.

Cold, detached, distant.

“Just shut up.”

He said it to my face.

I tried to show the ache in my heart and soul.

He turned away.

Cold, detached, distant.

“Just leave.”

They said it to my face.

I tried to get them to understand my anguish.

They punched me in the gut.

They stabbed me in the back.

Cold, detached, distant, cruel.

The collective cruelty in their frozen hearts destroyed me.

It was obvious that they saw me as worthless.

A worthless piece of shit.

I was the one that said it, but their behavior communicated that they agreed.

Some pretended to care only long enough to sap me of the very last of my dignity.

Soul-eaters.

Hungry ghosts.

Demons.

They robbed me of my agency and chose my destiny for me.

Not worthy of love and belonging.

Not deserving of kindness.

Like dominoes, they fell.

My husband.

My brothers.

My sisters.

My nieces.

My nephews.

My cousins.

My friends.

My mentors.

My bosses.

My spiritual guide.

My therapist.

My attorney.

Eventually… my very best friend…

And my innocent daughter.

My beautiful brilliant child, one of them.

No longer bonded to me, but chained to them.

She broke under too much pressure,

Just as they had broken under too much pressure.

One by one and two by two,

They fell into hate and shame.

Into a sea of shit, surrounded by others without hearts, without souls.

They think they are safer in the sea of shit without me.

They can’t see the filth in which they collectively swim.

They think they are better than everyone else — smarter, richer, prettier, holier.

They think they would never fall for the false promises and the cunning charm of the bullies surrounding us.

They can’t see that they have become the bullies in a sea of shit surrounded by other soulless heartless assholes.

Shame begets bullies, and bullies beget shame.

I stand on the edge of the shore — looking out over a sea of shit.

I have a choice:

Stand on the shore and beg my loved ones to grab the lifelines I readily offer.

Or,

Turn my back on the filth and walk into The Wilderness all alone.

What would you do?