The Art of Stoic Living: How Should We Live?

“Very little is needed for a happy life; everything we need lies within us and in our way of thinking.” — Marcus Aurelius

There are certain questions in life that are a little different from the rest. They require us to sit down and give them some proper thought. The most important of these questions must surely be, “What am I living for?” Because we only come into this world once. It is vital that we have a purpose, a philosophy of life.

Speaking for myself, I do not believe the modern person fully understands what they are doing with their life. I see the fundamental reason for this as a tendency to focus on the external world rather than the inner world. We might debate whether the ancients were collectively more successful in this regard. But there is a school of thought from antiquity that interests me, and I believe it can help us find a meaningful answer to this question. Today I’d like to talk to you a little about Stoicism. In doing so, alongside other sources, I’ll be drawing on a book I’ve been reading recently — A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine — in which I’ve found views that resonate with me.

Stoicism?

Stoicism is a philosophical school founded in Athens in the 4th century BC by Zeno of Cyprus. At that time, the ‘stoa’ (colonnaded portico) was a very common feature of Greek architecture. Zeno and his students gathered and engaged in discussion at one such portico, the Stoa Poikile (the Painted Stoa), which is why they came to be known as Stoics. Operating alongside many other philosophical schools in the ancient Greek intellectual world, Stoicism spread from there to the Roman Empire. Alongside Seneca, tutor to Nero, and Emperor Marcus Aurelius, Rome’s elite class identified themselves as Stoics. With the accession of Emperor Justinian I, who promoted Christianity, Stoicism was banned and lost its popularity.

Stoicism as a Philosophy of Life

At the heart of Stoicism lies the following idea — which I believe is quite apt: just as the source of our physical ailments lies in our bodies, so too does the source of our mental ailments lie in our minds and thoughts; and since we shape our own thoughts, we are responsible for our own mental distress. These troubles arise from flawed reasoning and erroneous beliefs. Stoics believe that if we develop our reasoning and correct our beliefs, we will lead a happy life. I should point out that Stoic philosophers, believing that one of an individual’s duties is to be of benefit to the society in which they live, were highly productive individuals. Consequently, they have written extensively on this subject (though not all of their works have survived). Moreover, this knowledge consists of practical, actionable ideas. For instance, in Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations, we witness the solutions he found to the difficulties encountered in life. All of these solutions are rational. The solution is sought within the human mind rather than in the external world.

Most of our mental struggles stem from wanting things beyond our control and failing to appreciate what we already have. It’s something we’ve all experienced. A new phone comes out; we want to buy it. We once felt the same way about the phone we already had. Instead of being happy with the phone we own, we feel compelled to buy a new one. It’s utterly ridiculous that we feel this compulsion. Is someone holding a gun to our head saying, ‘You’ll buy this’? Will we lose our vital functions if we don’t? The answer is a resounding no. In the time between wanting the phone and actually buying it, we create unnecessary anxiety for ourselves. Once we’ve bought it, our happiness lasts a week, or perhaps a month. Then we turn our attention to something else we don’t have. Where does this end? Will we always put off happiness?

This is the madness of humanity. We choose to be miserable when happiness is within our grasp. The unconscious person obeys their desires just as slaves obey their masters. And because they cannot control their desires, they never find peace. — Diogenes

Wanting What We Already Have

According to Marcus Aurelius, most of us spend our free time thinking about the things we want but do not possess. We would be happier if we spent that time reflecting on what we do have, and engaging in some soul-searching to consider just how much we would miss them if we did not possess them. It is a very simple yet equally meaningful invitation. Do we not already possess a host of things we once desired and obtained? Yet, if someone were to ask, we would see no harm in wanting just as much again. And once we have those too, we would want just as much more… The solution, as Marcus also says, lies in ceasing to desire and understanding the value of what we already have. Thus, desire stands as an obstacle to peace. But only if that desire is tied to external causes.

There are three types of events in nature: (1) events that are in no way dependent on the individual, (2) events that are partly dependent on the individual, and (3) events that are entirely within the individual’s control. When we align our desires with the third group, we will attain a peaceful state of mind.

Let me give an example. There is a runner. He has competed in the Olympics. He is about to run. The runner wants to come first. Like any rational person, I could say that this is a desire beyond his control. Firstly, the outcome of the race depends on how the other runners have prepared and how fast they can run. If this runner does not come first, they will be unhappy because of their desire. However, if the same runner changes their desire from “I want to come first” (a desire dependent on external factors) to “I want to give my best performance”, this now becomes an internal desire. Giving their best performance is within their own control; it does not depend on the other runners. Now there are two scenarios. (1) If their best performance is not good enough, they will not come first, but they will be happy because they have achieved their goal. Because the desire to give their best performance has been fulfilled. (2) If their best performance is good enough and they come first, they will be happy both because they gave their best performance and because they came first. With an internal (i.e. not dependent on external factors) desire, the person will be happy whether they win or lose.

Hedonic Adaptation

I gave the example of a mobile phone a moment ago. We want a new phone, we buy it, and then we get bored of it or become indifferent to it. Now that we’ve got the phone, it joins the ranks of the possessions we own but no longer care about. Of course, this isn’t limited to mobile phones. Some people think to themselves, ‘I want a home of my own,’ and after spending a couple of months there, they find themselves facing new troubles; others, barely a moment after saying, ‘I’ll take this job and want nothing else,’ start complaining about their work. How sad it is that a couple striving to get married, who once saw nothing but each other, focus not on the aspects they fell in love with but on each other’s flaws a year later! You’ve probably experienced this yourself, or know someone who has. Well, there’s a name for this phenomenon: hedonic adaptation.

When a change we desire occurs in our lives, we feel it and are happy. Gradually, this happiness diminishes, and we return to the state of mind we were in before the change. We grow accustomed to the novelty. This prevents us from reaching a state of peace of mind. As long as we cannot overcome hedonic adaptation, we constantly crave novelty to be happy. Since the action we most associate with happiness today is shopping, we constantly try to fill this void by spending money. Are we successful? It depends on the goal. In my view, if the goal is to be happy or at peace, we cannot really be said to be successful.

According to the Stoics, no one but oneself can bring happiness to a person. What a lovely thought, isn’t it? Remember Diogenes’s words: ‘He chooses to be miserable when he has the power to be happy…’ I tie my own happiness to acquiring something. A phone… A house… A car… And mind you, I’m the one doing this. Of my own free will. The question I must ask here is: What if I didn’t tie my happiness to anything? What could make me unhappy?

Negative Imagination

“He who foresees the coming of misfortunes has already deprived them of their power.” — Seneca

The Stoics had some advice to prevent hedonic adaptation. They advised us to imagine losing the things we value — our spouse leaving us, our car being stolen, or losing our job. The Stoics believed that this technique, which we might call ‘negative visualisation’, would prevent us from approaching our spouse, our car and our job with a ‘they’re a sure thing’ mindset, and would ensure we accord them the value they deserve.

According to Seneca, what one ought to do is to reflect in advance on events that will cause one grief. Fate may take back what it has ‘lent’ to us without asking our permission. That is why “we must show love for those we cherish […] but we must always bear in mind that we will not possess them forever.” Is there any guarantee that we will see our loved ones tomorrow? When you kiss your mother, it might be the last time you kiss her. When you play with your child, it might be the last time you play with them. I know, it’s sad. But these things will happen. It is precisely because we act as if they will not happen that death, the greatest of all sorrows, saddens us so deeply. (We distance death so far from ourselves that instead of saying, “When I die, bury me there,” we say, “If I die, bury me there.” As if it were merely a possibility.)

So, throughout the day, we’ll pause to consider what we might lose. We’ll ponder the disasters that could befall us. This will not only show just how well off we actually are, but it will also bring into sharp relief the value of our loved ones and possessions — things we’ve come to take for granted as if they’ll always be with us.