Reality Check -Ding Ding🔔

Realizing you’re not all that.

Image Credit: Pinterest

Now don’t get me wrong, all of us are really good at being something or doing something, at least, but like the saying goes, ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’. Most often we’re delusioned into thinking we’re someone extra-extraordinary person or that we’re super great at doing something. Looks like there’s a thin line between believing in yourself because you’re actually who you think you are and being delulu about your capabilities and personalities.

Ever heard of toxic positivity? Sometimes we find ourselves in serious need of a reality check because we have been fed with ideals of perfection, and lied to that this is who we are. Newsflash darling, perfection is only attained through deliberate, intentional work, not fanciful thoughts and delusions. Toxic positivity is the belief that people should maintain a positive mindset no matter how dire or difficult a situation is. It creates pressure to be unrealistically optimistic because you’re actually expecting encouraging statements to minimize or eliminate painful situations which obviously need work.

The Painful Truth.

From GIPHY

As humans, we have a natural tendency to want to be in the good books of people. Everybody is a good person. You’re never going to look at yourself in the mirror and think “{Insert your name} is a selfish person”. Feels odd right? That’s naturally not how you think of yourself. It’s normal and in fact, very human. I mean who wants to be the bad guy? Not me and I’m certain not you too!

Fortunately, some situations force us rational human beings to sit and think about our actions. Our actions are a culmination of our thoughts. Now I’m no psychologist but even the bible says that out of the abundance of the heart(thoughts), the mouth speaks(action). So going by that, technically, I’m right.😌 We sometimes realize, while reflecting that we haven’t really been the best of persons. Or that we really can’t procrastinate and still get the work done perfectly cos, to be honest, Flash is just a character, not a real-life superhero. Or that we haven’t been as honest as we thought, as kind, etc. This is because we have been living in our own bubble and going by standards we set for ourselves which we tweak as often to fit our criteria of good, kind, intelligent, beautiful, etc.. and so when we’re faced with a situation that exposes the painful truth about us, it's kind of hard to accept.

“What do you mean I haven’t been a good person?”, “I was definitely kind you just didn’t see it”, “I promise there are only few people with a heart as good as mine”, and “I’m really great at playing this thing, I was always first back then”. And can we not move this conversation to academics because that’s when the real reality check comes in and it can be such a HARD pill to swallow. But hey, things change, people change, we grow, and so the things that were true about us back then, may not be so true for us now especially if we weren’t so intentional about keeping them that way. And even with that, situations shape who we become sometimes so it's just really not there anymore. It’s like growing and finding new hobbies, a new circle of friends who share your present interests etc..

It's Okay.

It is, really. I always tell people that the first step to overcoming any hurdle is realization. Once you become aware that something isn’t how it used to be or supposed to be, you can start thinking through the strategies to either restore it or adopt a new one. Of course, you want to be great, maybe the brightest in the room, known to be the best at what you do, the kindest, sweetest, etc… but it's okay if you’re not [yet or anymore]. Someone is going to be kinder. There are some people whose calmness I admire so much because I know it's just out of the box for me. But it's okay with me because at least I can learn to be that way and even if I don’t have that option, I can at least surround myself with people like that.

Someone is definitely going to be smarter, more beautiful, more handsome, more emphatic, more reasonable, more intelligent, more tolerant. It's okay. It doesn’t make you less of who you are. Your ego is just bruised and this is what makes you human; flawed, somewhat dependent, symbiotic, because we make each other better.

I may not be all that but together we are.

This is your reminder to embrace reality and continue to be who you are while working to be better and actually liking those who seem to be better than you in certain aspects.😉