“No Matter What Kind of Lady She Is, She’ll Still End Up…”: Why Women Actually Wanted to Enter Harem

It may be hard to believe today, but in imperial China, the Ottoman Empire, and the Mughal state, entire social groups existed whose members deliberately prepared their daughters to enter the ruler’s harem. In China, this was Manchu nobility connected to the ruling dynasty; in Turkey, certain Circassian tribes; in India, specific clans among the Kshatriyas and Brahmins.

And it happened without the slightest coercion. Young women in these Eastern societies understood perfectly well that this was the best way to secure a stable, prosperous future. Many of them intentionally sought a place in someone’s harem with no pressure from their parents at all.

So why did they do it?

Modern, emancipated women may not relate to this, but up until the late 19th and early 20th centuries, in most countries a “good marriage” was the only path a woman had to make a career of any kind and raise her social standing. Before mass education and industrial capitalism, almost all women’s activity was tied to the household.

Their responsibilities included cleaning, laundry, cooking, and of course having and raising children. And, in full agreement with the old saying quoted in the title, this fate was unavoidable — whether you were a shepherd girl or a princess. The only difference was that princesses had servants to do the chores for them.

Sure, today we don’t love that reality. We tend to believe that women should have the chance to fulfill themselves in many ways. But that was the era — this was how nearly everyone lived, like it or not. So every young woman knew that the most important decision of her life was choosing the right husband. And that choice was made not out of love, but usually by her parents. They would run a kind of “casting call” among potential suitors to place their daughter as advantageously as possible.

In countries where polygamy existed, it was always the privilege of the very wealthy. For example, even in modern Saudi Arabia only about 1% of men are in polygamous marriages — and it’s unlikely that 100–200 years ago that number was higher. There aren’t many princes, and there aren’t enough to go around.

That’s why, for the harems of Ottoman sultans, Indian rajas, Thai kings, Chinese emperors, there was a long line of beautiful young women eager to get in. The same was true for the harems of top-level aristocrats — Arab emirs, Central Asian beys, and other elite rulers.

The girls understood clearly: for them, this was the only chance to become a “lady of the house” instead of spending their entire lives grinding away on their husband’s farm. In a harem, the domestic labor was done for them, and an odalisque could have a great deal of free time. Many of them, by the way, received a strong education — no powerful man wanted to spend time with a simpleton who couldn’t put two sentences together. In that sense, in a patriarchal society, the opportunity to engage in art — and even scholarship — often existed only for women inside the harem.

And there were other appealing benefits, too. To start with, they could control part of their husband’s wealth, engage in business or charity, travel, or make the pilgrimage to Mecca (if they were Muslim). And those who were fortunate enough to bear their master a son — or even a daughter — could become major players in high politics.

Think of the Ottoman Empire, where the period from the mid-16th to the mid-17th century is often called the “Sultanate of Women,” because the country was, in practice, heavily influenced — sometimes effectively run — by the wives and mothers of weak-willed sultans. Think of Iran in roughly the same era, when Tajlu Khanum, the senior wife of Ismail I, took part in battles and, after her husband’s death, served as regent for her son. Think of China’s Empress Dowager Cixi, or the Indian princess Lakshmibai, one of the leaders of the Sepoy Rebellion.

So women at that time often sought entry into a harem, understanding it could be the best decision of their lives. And if they failed to attract the ruler’s attention, they were typically released back to their families after a set period — among the Ottomans, it was nine years. A former odalisque received a substantial sum of money and could return home to later choose a husband on her own. Or she might be offered marriage to a high-ranking nobleman — and most agreed.

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