Managing Your Future College Athlete’s Expectations

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Expectation. Defined as a strong belief that something will happen, a person’s expectation can be grounded in reality, fantasy, or somewhere in between. For a potential college athlete, expectations are often set at lofty (and quite possibly unattainable) levels. For many high schoolers, Division I is the dream. Division I (DI or D1) is seen as the ultimate mark of success — the highest peak on the athletic mountain (short of professional aspirations).

Unfortunately, for most highly skilled young athletes, Division I is not a realistic goal. Hundreds of thousands of athletes, not just domestically but also globally, are vying for those relatively scarce roster spots in DI athletic programs. The competition is fierce, and an athlete’s chances of being noticed (much less actively recruited) by a DI program depend on a multitude of factors, many of which are not within the athlete’s control.

So how does an athlete (and their family) manage expectations?

The College Dream Begins

About a year and a half ago, our then-15-year-old son approached my wife and me about playing collegiately someday. His high school team had just finished its soccer season with mixed on-field results. Still, our freshman son believed he had the skill set and desire to play collegiately as a goalkeeper. We reasonably reached the same conclusion, primarily based on his upward trajectory over the previous handful of highly successful club soccer seasons.

However, knowing what to do next left us perplexed. Neither my wife nor I had played sports beyond high school. With no firsthand knowledge of the process and few (if any) meaningful contacts in the world of college athletics, we had a lot of research to do. We (including our son) also knew it would take considerable time and effort to educate ourselves about how to pursue this path the right way.

Breaking the DI or Bust Mentality

As we began this effort to learn as much as we could, we soon realized that expectations can quickly get out of hand, leaving athletes and their families vulnerable to future disappointment. Because DI programs are by far the most visible to athletes and their families, it can feel like DI has to be the ultimate goal, and anything “less” will seem like “settling.” For our son, the dream of becoming a DI athlete was already in his mind when he first approached us about pursuing college sports.

While laying out lofty goals is not inherently wrong or misguided, reality must also play a crucial role on the road to playing college athletics. Often, that reality is a harsh reminder that countless other highly qualified young athletes are contending for the same opportunities. We just don’t see them every day. Our son had transformed himself into a standout athlete in his chosen sport. But that same story plays out in community after community here and around the world.

Finding Answers in a Complex Landscape

Within a couple of months, our research led us to NCSA, a clearinghouse that connects prospective college athletes with recruiters and college programs. From there, we began to develop a more realistic picture of the college sports landscape, including DI, DII, DIII, NAIA, and NJCAA (JUCO). Participating in educational workshops and communicating directly with recruiters and college programs opened a world of understanding for our son and us.

Our son is now a sophomore. Since he first shared his college dream with us, he has changed high schools and advanced his soccer club level. He has also taken other active steps (including hiring a highly regarded goalkeeping trainer) to improve his individual game. As he has taken these steps, he now has a much more realistic understanding of his relative standing. We know that DI is not necessarily the end-all, be-all. However, where he fits collegiately will likely be the appropriate outcome for his skill set and ultimate aspirations.

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