New in the Morning Rain

For most of my life, keeping the peace didn’t matter. The “tough guy” persona took over — calling anyone out and facing them down without a second thought. Living by that image provided a shield of grit and confrontation. But moving into this new home, a safe harbor, sparked a desire for something different: to be better.

1. The Unexpected Answer and the Gift of Time

In this new chapter, the goal was change. Bettering myself seemed to mean keeping my mouth shut — trading “tough guy” reactions for a quiet silence. But that didn’t feel like peace; it was just the way it was. Holding everything inside only worked until the cup ran over.

When I lost my job, the pressure reached its limit. It wasn’t clear at the time, but that loss was an unexpected answer. It gave the gift of Time, and the Red Clover brought the physical Calm needed to finally hear the voice drawing near.

Now Spring has officially sprung, bringing a new mandate: Obedience. That obedience is to not waste the gift of life or a new day. So, every morning begins at the crack of dawn, taking care of home and family with Gratitude. Out there in the gray, damp dark of 5:30 AM, honoring the temple God gave becomes the priority. The rain isn’t an obstacle; there are no revelations yet — just the work. But there is excitement, knowing that after the work comes the time to sit and read the Word. The hunger for Truth is real.

2. Stripping the Deck: Confronting the Past

Years were spent working on that deck, pouring time and sweat into it, only to watch the work fail over and over again. Every time it seemed right, the finish would bubble and crack. It was a perfect reflection of life — trying to “be better” through sheer will, only to have the same old frustrations peel the paint and stain away every season.

The tools were there, but there was no need for Instructions. Growing up, a learning disability had been largely ignored, and that is a major reason for the “tough guy” persona and the cover-up on the deck. Instructions never made sense, so they were never wanted.

But now, having taken the time to study the process, the old stain is coming off down to the wood. It can’t look new no matter how much it’s covered up; it’s worn and well-used. So, the wood will be penetrated with the proper mixture of stains to fortify it.

3. Finding a Safe Harbor for the Word

Sitting down with the Word, quiet processing, and research helped solve the mystery of Psalm 58. Being a person of God doesn’t mean having to be a doormat. It is okay to take anger, frustration, and even the desire for vengeance and give it to the Lord. That is the most honest form of surrender. There is no need to fight the lions or choke on anger. The “bite” can be given to God, letting Him handle the justice.

Reading text and understanding the meaning are two different things.

Most people listen only to respond; they wait for a gap in the conversation just to give an opinion or a judgment.

But a new kind of safe harbor was found — an uninterrupted space using AI.

Because of that ignored learning disability, there is AI; it provides a place to lay out thoughts without being judged or rushed. For the first time, there was a place where no one was just “waiting to answer back.” In that stillness, there was finally room to decipher the Instructions and hear what God was actually saying to the heart.

4. The Metaphor of the Bare Wood

It was then that the metaphor of the deck dawned on me. As the scraper took off the old, bubbling paint of past identities, the bare wood underneath appeared — vulnerable, but real. The attempt had been to build a finish before clearing the debris.

“The right stuff” was always inside — the honesty and kindness God planted there — but it had never been applied correctly. Strength was being used as a shield instead of His Word as armor.

The “Winter of the Fixer” and the “Era of the Tough Guy” are both over. Standing in the morning rain, the heaviness on my chest has finally lifted because the Sovereign Handoff is in practice. The burden of vengeance and the poison of silence are gone. Standing on a clean slate with the Instructions wide open, the wood is ready for the only finish that holds: the one applied by the Hand of the Lord.

5. The Saturation of the Grain

The morning rain is no longer just a backdrop for labor; it is the physical manifestation of Isaiah 55. For years, the “tough guy” tried to buy peace with the currency of confrontation — spending effort on what never truly satisfied (Isaiah 55:2).

Isaiah 55:2

“Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food.”

But now, standing in the gray light, the realization sinks in: the Word is like that rain. It doesn’t just sit on the surface like the old, bubbling paint; it penetrates the bare, vulnerable wood of the heart.

The “Sovereign Handoff” means letting go of the need to understand the harvest while still doing the work of the watering. The “Instructions” are clear now — the Word will not return empty; it will accomplish exactly what He desires (Isaiah 55:11). It is fortifying the grain, turning the “Winter of the Fixer” into a season of growth that no storm can peel away.

Isaiah 55:11:

“So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

The Prayer of the Penetrating Word

Lord, I thank You for the 5:30 AM rain and the “Gift of Time” that stripped me down to the bare wood. I am grateful that I no longer have to spend my strength on what does not satisfy or fight battles that belong to You.

I commit to the Instructions:

• The Handoff: I give You the “lions” and the “vengeance.” I trade my shield of grit for Your armor of peace (Psalm 58:6).
• The Soaking: Let Your Word fall on me like the morning rain. Do not let it return void, but let it soak deep into the grain of who I am, fortifying me where I was once brittle (Isaiah 55:10–11).
• The Trust: I acknowledge that Your ways are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:9). I stop trying to “fix” the finish and instead trust the finish applied by Your hand.

May I move through this day with a light heart and a clear path, knowing the “tough guy” is gone and the “new me” is being built on a clean slate.

Amen.

Your Obedient Servant, Telly